Post # 1
Member
110 posts
Blushing bee
Hello,
I have been lurking the board for a few weeks now, and decided to join with the intent of finding what I want in life. I am not engaged, nor do I think SO and I are ready to cross that road yet. I grew up in a religious sect, and marriage with truckloads of children right out of high school was the social norm. However, I never dreamt of that for myself.
And then I met SO. After spending years dedicated to studying and research, he’s flipped my world upside down and shown me what it’s like to be a bit more ‘human’. We started dating 8 months ago, but knew each other a few months prior to making it official. We both feel like we’ve known each other forever, and share quite a few similarities, including being left-handed, INTJ personality types, and our love for visual arts.
Now I’m at an impasse in life: pursuing a career would take me out of country for another 5-7 years with no guarantee of a job, and effectively ruining my relationship in the end. Or, I may always wonder what would have happened if I had done what I intended all along.
I’m here to get into the spirit of envisioning myself along a path in life where he’s there next to me.
Post # 5
Member
173 posts
Blushing bee
@endplusone: Hi! Is your SO in a position to move with you?
Post # 6
Member
110 posts
Blushing bee
Thanks for the welcome.
@snowjewelz: No, he is not. In addition to just starting a new job in his field, he is also in an MA program for another 2 years. He has some flexibility as he is in the healthcare industry, but I don’t think he would be able to make any drastic changes in location for some time.
Post # 7
Member
173 posts
Blushing bee
@endplusone: I see… Are you still deciding? I am not sure from re-reading your post if you’ve already chosen to be with him and not pursue a career. That’s a really tough decision to make, especially if you know he’s the “one”!
I remember when I was in college and had a serious boyfriend; I chose not to study abroad to stay with him and I regretted it so much! But that was when I was young & in puppy love. I didn’t make the decision w/ the right motivation.
But now as an adult I would’ve chose to be with my DH. But for me, I don’t have specific career ambitions so the dilemma probably would’ve have came up for me.
Post # 8
Member
110 posts
Blushing bee
@snowjewelz: It’s still an ongoing conversation. I can pursue further education at any point, but there will always be a deadline for applications, otherwise I’m delayed another year. I don’t know if delaying the decision would make it any more clear in my mind as to what is best for me and for us. Ideally, I would like to have my cake and eat it too. I don’t want to resent him if I default into becoming the Little Wife. I don’t think he wants to feel like he’s held me back, either.
I’m not looking for solutions, but I appreciate the support.
Post # 9
Member
173 posts
Blushing bee
@endplusone: I hope one day you will be at peace with whatever decison you make! In the mean time, I hope you enjoy your time on the boards 🙂
Member
