Post # 1
Hi everyone. I wanted to take a minute to introduce myself here. I am 38 yrs old (this summer), a mother of 3 (19, 7 and 5), lving in Southeastern PA. My Boyfriend or Best Friend and I have been together for just over 2 years (I know not nearly as long as some of you on here) and we live together and are raising my 3 daughters together. I’ve never been married (engaged a few times which makes this so hard) and he’s divorced after aapprox. 4 yrs of marriage to someone else. We have a great relationship and even started a business together.
I’ve talked about marriage with my Boyfriend or Best Friend but not sure if he’s ever really listened. I get that he’s been divorced and may not be ready this second…but can I at elast get a “it’ll happen, don’t worry.”?!
Anyway, so here I am…I’d love to chat with all of you and get to know you all and listen to your words of wisdom, words of kidness and watch as you move up or come off all together of the waiting list.
Post # 2
I too am on the same boat as far as waiting on a divorced man to propose. He was married for 5 years before me. I’ve never been engaged or anything before. But he DOES tell me that it will happen “someday”.. that’s all he ever says ha. I know he wants to.. it’s just a matter of when?!
Hopefully we can both get better answers out of them soon! I wish you the best!
Post # 3
ctew: I understand that “antsy” feeling, I’ve been there.
My only advice would be — since you’ve already moved in together and he’s getting a lot of the benefits of marriage already without having to step up and put a ring on it — for you to not get too comfy with being the chill girlfriend who’s silently in “waiting mode.”
Patience is not a virtue.
While it’s important to be flexible and for both parties to be open to discussing the relationship, and willing to compromise on a timeline — my advice would be to not be too quiet about your needs and desires. I’m not saying you should turn into a nag and start pressuring him. I’m just saying it’s very likely to be counterproductive if you stay quiet on this issue.
I would gently, nicely and lovingly bring it up and let him know you’d like him to be honest with you and let you know what his intentions are and IF he sees marriage in the picture, when he would like it to happen.
Frankly I wouldn’t stop asking until he answered the question.
After two years together you have every right to know what he sees in the future for the two of you so that you can decide whether you’re on board with it.
Best of luck to you and I hope my advice has helped in some small way.
Post # 4
41, as is SO and living in western NC. We’ve been together for almost 2 years. Neither of us married, but he has a child (10 years old) from a previous LTR. We have known each other since elementary school, but were not even close to being compatible back in the day…lol!
We’ve discussed marriage, and he says he will propose when he’s ready (moves slower than molasses in January about everything) and knows I want low key everything. I do know the wedding band he wants and size, and we both want an elopement or tiny ceremony. We don’t live together, but have discussed it. Right now we’re both financially trying to rebuild (he from previous relationship issues and me from medical bills and school loans and now foreclosure…ugh).
I have been more anxious about the waiting in the past, but we had a period where we stopped seeing each other for about 2 months to sort out our lives. It did make me realize he was the one I want forever, and he said those months made him realize the same. I don’t have to be married, but somedays I wish it would happen. I am just happy to have he and his son in my life everyday!
Post # 5
Hey … I’ve been with my honey for almost 2 years … I’m waiting – but the ring is ordered. I say hang in there… but defintely don’t bug him as it may make him annoyed…
Post # 6
Hi ladies…good monday morning to you all.
Thanks for the advice and support. It helps knowing that I really am not as alone as I feel.
I gave SO a timeline – told him that I had a list as a kid of goals I wanted to accomplish and one of them was to be married by the time I am 40 (2 more years to go on that), so he is more comfortable knowing that I don’t want it right now and that I am willing to wait (give him more time to take or wahtever it is he is doing).
Two years, that’s pretty much all the time I have left to commit to waiting for that ring. I am trying not to dwell on it as much as I used to and I am trying to find things to do outside of the home so as to occupy my thoughts away from a wedding – way easier said than done.
Anyway, thanks again for listening and sharing your thoughts with me.