- 9 years ago
- Wedding: June 2013
Found this website and it feels like a safe place to get advice from other women, some who might even be a quiet loner like me.
I’m not your typical girly girl. Not even a typical female. Sorry ahead of time if I ramble or go on tangents. The info will mostly explain who I am and how I am. Grew up in a single child house-hold. Have always been shy and quite. Questions and lots of talking in my general direction make me sick to my stomach (mainly becaue I’m an introvert). Was once questioned by the police about a hit and run I witnessed and I broke down crying and actually vomited all over the ground, because I couldn’t handle all the talking “at me.”
My soon to be husband is a huge talker, so is everyone else in his family. Though they’re more sociable, where as he talks when he needs to, then kind of never shuts up. Really, he’s a loner like me. Mostly talks to hear the sound of his own voice. Yes — he’s kind of a narcissist, but he’s also one of the cleverist humans you’ll ever meet. He has 4 degrees and can fix anything, from plumbing a toilet to sewing a dress. Most of all, he’s pretty good about not asking me questions. He’s very take charge. People think he’s a big jerk when he orders food for me. Or he’s a jerk because often when people ask me questions he interjects and answers on my behalf. To me, when he does those things, he’s my knight in shining armor. It’s pretty much the only “romantic thing” I enjoy my man doing for me. I’m not into flowers or candy. One of our only big fights was when he brought me flowers at work, to congratulate me becuase I’d just completed a huge project and landed a big bonus. What made me so upset? Well basically I was horrified that everyone at work was looking at me. Plus all the attention and questions it brought; dear lord I wanted to crawl under a rock and die. There are just some things about me I can’t change, nor care to change, and how I react to being around people is just one of them. Especially other girls (the ones I work with anyway) who all seem to be so judgmental. I mean, I like my basic panties. I wish other girls would stop asking where I buy my clothes. Target okay ladies. I just buy crap at Target. Besides, these days he dresses me. Before him I wore poor fitting jeans and ugly T-shirts. He even convinced me that make-up and a scoop neck tops were okay for a woman to wear. And I have to admit, I do rock a smokey eye. He loves me in heels, I hate them, to compromise I wear wedges. And they do make my legs look pretty great.
Here’s my problem: His family wants us to have a huge wedding (that we’d of course have to foot the bill for ourselves). They keep calling and calling, insisting on every detail.
Here is what I want, here is what I must have. Me, him, his best-man / best-friend, maybe his best-man’s wife (not their baby daughter!). Should stop here and mention I don’t like kids, nor ever want to have any. It’s not very sensible to say I hate kids (but most people could say that I seem to). In fact, before we even picked a date for the wedding I told him it was mandatory that he have a vasectomy. To which he agreed, and has done (snip, snip, hooray!). Granted he does like kids. But he’s just terribly irresponsible, and some what lazy and he knows it. Anyway, I want a very, very, very small wedding. Want a white country dress, cowgirl boots (we’re Texans btw), a smokey set of eyes, and my red hair blowing in the wind. He should be wearing the black button up shirt I love, some new blue jeans, have a nice big buckle on his belt, wear his cowboy boots, and that straw hat of his I love. We should be married by the water. No limos! Maybe a town car… not white!
That’s all I need. But here is his family calling and leaving Facebook messages non-stop, trying to find out news about the wedding, and making suggestion after suggestion. I’m ready so to block them all. I haven’t even told my own family about the wedding, for fear my mother and father will insist on flying down or worse yet wanting us to fly up there for the wedding (all our family, his and mine, live around Mass).
My big problem… he is seriously considering caving in and having a big wedding. He keeps saying we only live once. And how beautiful I’d look in a gown. How much fun it would be to dance to a DJ and shove cake in each others’ faces. OMG, shoot me face! I swear if I said yes to that today, I’d never have the stomach to actually go through with it, come the day of the wedding.
What the heck can I do? How can I convince him to just have the small wedding I want, I need, need in my bones, need in my soul?