Post # 1
My Fiance and I are having a small intimate ceremony with our closest family and friends. Everyone is being invited to the reception, while the select few are attending both the ceremony and reception. The guests who are only being invited to the reception understand that the ceremony is small, intimate, and a private event.
We received an RSVP back from someone who was (only) invited to the reception, but stated they could not attend as they had another engagement/event that day. That was fine, but then, they went on to ask what time Fiance and I were getting married, so they could “see us getting married”, and then leave for their other event.
I was a little baffled. It was sweet that they wanted to see us get married, but I had to tell them that no, it’s not as though there is a ceremony *before the reception which they can just attend.
*Our ceremony is on Saturday evening and our reception is Sunday afternoon.
ETA: I’m not faulting the guest though, I just found the request interesting, and cute, as I’d never gotten that before. I don’t think the request was out of line, and it was sweet, but I made sure to gently/nicely explain our logistics to the guest.
Post # 3
@classical_wolf: Well given that the vast majority of weddings have the ceremony right before the reception, it makes sense that they would ask about coming to the ceremony if they didn’t realize it was private. I think they were just trying to be polite and show that they do care about you. They aren’t able to make it to the reception, but since you are important to them, they wanted to at least support you and watch you get married. I don’t think the request is out of line. All you have to do is let them know that they will be missed and while you appreciate their support, you are having a private ceremony with just immediate family.
Post # 4
Chances are as this person just isn’t familiar with your type of Wedding timeline they’ve only seen the traditional ones where Reception immediately follows Ceremony
So because you invited them to the Reception, and they cannot make it they wanted you to know they are available however earlier in the day and “would love to be there”
Small Intimate Weddings (with just a handful of people) or Elopements, or Trips down to the Courthouse, or to hte JOP and being held the day / week before etc. aren’t what most people think of when they hear the words Wedding (at least not here in North America)
So you can’t really fault the Guest for the misunderstanding either.
I hope your wording in the reply didn’t make him feel self-conscious (dumb) about his Question.
I am sure once he read the explanation, he then understood perfectly as to WHY there was no Invite for the Ceremony.
Hope this helps,
Post # 5
@classical_wolf: I am confused. Was this person only invited to the ceremony or reception? We are having a similar situation, and it did baffle a lot of my FI’s friends. Unfortunately, things get a little tricky in certain areas when one strays from the traditional way of doing things.
Post # 6
It was just that the guest apparently was confused. I’m not faulting them though, I just found the request interesting, and cute, as I’d never gotten that before. I don’t think the request was out of line, and it was sweet, but the invitation (for those only invited to the reception) only mentioned details about the reception, and spoke about “celebrating the reception of (me) and (my FI)”, to show that we’ll already be married at that point (by the time we have the reception).
Post # 7
This person was only invited to the reception. Only a handful (albeit a large handle) of people (25-30) are being invited to the ceremony (and then also the reception).
I agree that it’s been a little tricky to remind people of the (unique) logistics.
Post # 8
@This Time Round:
It was just that the guest apparently was confused. I’m not faulting them though, I just found the request interesting, and cute, as I’d never gotten that before. I don’t think the request was out of line, and it was sweet, but I made sure to gently/nicely explain our logistics to the guest.
Post # 9
@classical_wolf: I think you meant to say reception where you said ceremony in this sentence
We received an RSVP back from someone who was (only) invited to the ceremony,
It’s causing even more confusion.
Post # 10
@classical_wolf: Your post says “was only invited to the ceremony”. Do you mean they were only invited to the reception? If that’s the case, kindly reply,
‘That’s so nice of you to think of us, we are getting married in a small ceremony the day before with only our immediate family as witnesses. thank you for your thoughts!’
Post # 12
edit: nevermind, already fixed 🙂
Post # 13
I edited it. Thanks! It was supposed to read that the guest was only invited to the reception
(not the ceremony).
Post # 14
That’s similar to what I did 🙂 Thank you for the suggestion!
Post # 15
So if 99% of the guests are being invited to the reception, does that mean that 1% aren’t being invited to the reception? Or that you’re inviting 2500-3000 guests total if you’re having 25-30 people invited to the ceremony?
Post # 16
That’s sweet. We didn’t differentiate between ceremony/reception invites, but we had a couple of people who had other commitments that night but still came just to the ceremony because they wanted to see us get married, and that really meant a lot to me!