(Closed) Invitations after receiving a STD?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Snow2bunny: If you sent an STD ettiquite dictates you need to send an invite. An STD basically says, you are invited, save the date for us and make your travel plans.

It is very rude to send someone an STD and then not send them an invite.

Post # 5
185 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Technically, yes, you need to send invites to anyone who received Save-The-Date Cards. Maybe if the friendships aren’t there anymore, they won’t come?

Post # 6
7587 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

@Snow2bunny: I didn’t send the invites. I am usually an etiquette freak, but I had a friendship end terribly during that time frame. I voted to be comfortable at my wedding rather than stick to all the rules.

Post # 7
730 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

If you sent the STD, it’s pretty rude not to send an invite. I had a couple people in this situation though (sent an STD, but friendship had faded before the wedding), and they RSVPed no, as expected. We did the right thing as far as etiquette goes, and we still didn’t have to worry about the numbers. 

Post # 10
124 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I’m in agreement – unfortunately, if you send a STD, you have to send an invite as well.  If you think the friendship has fizzled, though, perhaps they feel the same way and won’t make the effort to attend?

Post # 12
3267 posts
Sugar bee

Obviously they feel the same about you as they are not contacting you either.  So I certainly wouldn’t expect them to come to the wedding.

You have already invited them by sending them an STD.  The invitation is really just following up with the details.  Once you have told someone to save your date, you have to follow up with the details.


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