Post # 1
- Wedding: September 2013 - The Gables at Chadds Ford
After reading website after website of what is “right” regarding titles for envelope addresses, I was going crazy. Our wedding is not ultra-formal, nor are our friends and family. Also, we are not doing both inner and outer envelopes- just the outer ones. So, for our invitations, I did a mix of whatever felt right:
For single guys/gals it was either:
Miss/Ms./Mr. Firstname Lastname OR Firstname Lastname
Couples not married but living together:
Firstname Lastname and Firstname Lastname
For the married couples:
Mr. and Mrs. Lastname (I know- “improper etiquette,” but it sounded good enough)
For the one set of married doctors we know:
Doctors Jane and John Lastname
The other doctor with a non-doctor husband:
Dr. Jane and Mr. John Lastname
To be honest, unless someone is very old-fashioned or has recently planned a wedding of their own, no one will have any idea how it’s “supposed” to be. They will more than likely just be excited to be getting an invitation to your wedding! Don’t drive yourself crazy over it. For those of you who wish to do it the “right” way- there are many sites, but the one I found on theknot.com was helpful: How to Address the Envelopes
Post # 3
I addressed ours with first and last names, no titles. In the case of more than two members of the family, I used “the LastNames.”
Post # 4
I agree with you! I addressed our invites differently for everyone and was only super formal for a couple of our parent’s friends that we don’t know very well.
Post # 5
I dont know who really looks at the envelopes that seriously. If so, they need a life. I also gave up and that was just when addressing the STD envelopes.
Post # 6
I don’t think I had any uniformity across the board with my invites. The responses came back fine, so I guess people received the invites no matter how they were addressed.
Post # 7
I don’t know anyone who examined their envelopes to see if they were addressed properly, or whether they had pretty wedding stamps as opposed to forever stamps bought out the machine or from the grocery store or out of the ATM.
I think people spend way too much time watching wedding shows, reading those stupid magazines trying to make their weddings look like the ones they’ve read about and then making themselves sick with worry if they may have forgotten to do the slightest thing.
Address the envelope so the post office knows where to take it. Someone will open the envelope, read it and it will EVENTUALLY end up in the trash and no one will care what the outer envelope looks like.
If someone DOES care, they are the ones that need a life, not you.
Post # 8
I don’t care what address etiquette says, nor have I looked it up. I’m just doing ‘Bob & Jane Smith’ or ‘The Smith Family’.
Post # 9
Unless you are inviting an etiquette expert to your wedding, I’m pretty sure no one is really going to notice how the envelopes are addressed. The only time I’ve ever even taken a second look at one that was sent to me is because my was spelled wrong. Even that I just thought was funny; the bride was a friend that only ever called me by my nickname and the invite had a different common spelling of my full first name, plus I knew that her mom was the one doing the invites.
I guess it really depends on how formal the wedding is, and the persnalities of yourself and the guests. I would think in most cases no one really notices.
Post # 10
I followed the Crane Bluebook when I did mine, and I found it to be extremely helpful.
Post # 11
I don’t know why you’d spend the time to make a topic about not spending the time to get your friends’ names correct. Your way seems much more old-fashioned than the right way. Nothing to do with formality either – plain old “Joe and Jane” would be better than “Mr. and Mrs. Schmoe” if that’s not Jane’s last name.
I think everyone is used to having their names mangled in various ways, and nobody really cares, but that doesn’t change the fact that it’s a nice gesture to know your friends’ names.
Post # 12
I dunno, I was once invited to a friend’s wedding, and it bothered me a lot that my fiance’s name was written before mine. Unless it’s opposite-land where she barely knows me but has been friends with him for over 20 years, I’d expect my name to be first.
Post # 13
I take things more seriously when they’re done properly. The way the invitation looks and is addressed sets the tone for the entire wedding.
My wedding is formal, so addressing invitations informally will give guests the wrong idea about the event they’re attending. Which can result in people being under dressed, definately something to think about if you’re of the belief that wording is insignificant.
Post # 14
I will slightly shamefully admit that I addressed mine in a very casual manner…
Chirp and Peep Chickenfluff
And I didn’t even use “formal” cursive script. the horror!!
And I don’t think anyone noticed. Or cared. Or at least if they did they had the decency to keep it to themselves.
Because in my mind, its an envelope. Its job is to protect the invite and get the invite to its proper final destination. And then it will go in the trash.
Post # 16
Is using formal cursive a requirement? I love fun fonts and I didn’t want to use a formal “traditional” script for mine! I didn’t realize that might not be following etiquette. Oh well…guess I won’t!