Post # 1
Hi Bees! Hope you can help me with my envelope addressing questions:
1. We have a few people on our invite list that are in long-term relationships, but do not live together. We’re inviting them to bring a guest, and would like to put the person’s name down instead of "and guest". But since they don’t live together, where do we put the partner’s name on the envelope? After the friend’s name (Jane Jones & Sam Smith, then address below)? Below the friend’s name on a 2nd line?
2. For children of a couple, I know you are supposed to list them below the parents, and before the address. Do you include the kids’ last names? And do you include "&/and" anywhere (like after the parents names or on the 2nd line before the kids names)?
3. For the single friends that aren’t in a relationship, where do you put "& Guest"? After their name? On a 2nd line?
Note: we aren’t using inner envelopes, only outer envelopes. Also, the invitations and the wedding itself will be pretty informal, so this doesn’t need to be technically "correct" from an ettiquette standpoint. We just want it to be clear who is invited, and for everyone to feel welcome!
Post # 3
1. The second person should not be included on the same envelope, each gets their own invitation sent to their homes.
2. Not sure off the top of my head, but you can probably find this on a Google search.
3. You don’t put "and guest" anywhere on the envelope, it is put on the RSVP card. That only applies to your situation where an inner envelope isn’t used.
Post # 4
Technically, only the people actually living at the address where the invitation is sent should have their names on the outer envelope. This can include children; they would be listed on a second line for a formal type of invitation:
Mr. and Mrs. John Doe
The Misses Sally and Susie Doe
Although for a formal invitation the children’s names would go only on the inner envelope.
Niki is right that for a formal invitation, you would send separate invitations to your friends who are seriously dating but not living together.
However, since you’re not using an inner and outer envelope, I’m going to assume that you’re not going terribly formal. I also assume that you don’t necessarily want to maximize the number of invitations you have to send. In that case, there’s no particular reason why you couldn’t include the significant other on a second address line. After all, you are inviting the couple together – you wouldn’t use separate invitations if you had an inner envelope.
As to the "and guest," I suppose you can put that on the outer envelope as well, if you really like. I am sort of anti-"and guest." For our single friends who weren’t in a relationship, we called them to ask if there was someone special that we should include on the invitation. I thought that the least we could do for someone who we thought was special enough to be invited was to find out who they might like to bring as a date.
Post # 5
Hi Niki, Suzanno – thanks for the answers!
It’s true – as I said, this won’t be a formal affair, so I was hoping I could break some of the addressing rules without offending anyone. I know that inner envelopes would solve all these problems, but we just aren’t using them. So Suzanno, thanks for giving me permission to include the friend’s non-live-in SO on a second line! I didn’t want to send him his own invitation since he’s only really invited as the guest of the friend.
And I guess I’ll have to include "and Guest" on the other envelopes. I don’t care for it either, but it will only be for the small number of friends that definitely aren’t in a relationship right now, but could conceivably be once the wedding rolls around in 2 months (or may just want to bring a buddy).
Post # 6
I should have done this search before I just posted my question…however I see that the children issue was never resolved.
Paloma – what did you end up doing for families?
Post # 7
I only had outer envelopes and put "and family" on most the invites that included children (because practically everyone had 3+ children and writing all of their names would fill up the entire invite). For those with single children, instead of "and family," I just listed that child’s name underneath the parents. I don’t think that any of what I did was considered "formal," but it worked for me!