Post # 1
I’m almost done addressing my invitations!!! Yay! But there’s one outer envelope I’m not sure how to address. I’m inviting my former college professor. Over the years, she’s become sort of a mentor to me, and I am on a first name basis with her and her husband. In college I called her Professor So-and-So. I know she has her PhD, but I have never heard anyone refer to her as Dr. So-and-So. She and her husband have different last names.
So, should I address the outer envelope:
Mrs. Jane So-and-so and Mr. John Doe
or Ms. Jane So-and-so and Mr. John Doe
or…I don’t know!
She’s not pretentious at all, and I doubt she’d be offended either way, but for some reason it’s really bothering me and I want to get it right!
What do you think?
Post # 3
i think that you should address it as:
Dr. Jane so-and-so and Mr. John Doe
even though she doesn’t go by doctor formal addresses should still use the title…
Post # 4
Use either Dr or Ms but NOT Mrs as you don’t use Mrs if you keep your maiden name. I’d go with Dr.
Post # 5
I forgot to mention…my other issue is that I know my professor much better than her husband. I have no idea what kind of degree(s) he may have. Would it be weird just to ask her how she would prefer to have it addressed?
Post # 6
Actually I’ve read in etiquette guides and such that PhDs are not addressed as "Dr." in social situations — only MDs get the title socially. (Nuts! I’m getting this PhD for nothing!).
So, since she kept her name it should be Ms. Blank and Mr. DifferentBlank.
Post # 7
I’ve also heard it said by one of my professors that "Professor" can be considered a higher honorific than "Doctor" because it’s more difficult to get a true Professorship than it is to get a PhD.
If you haven’t already talked about it with her, you might just send her an email with her and her husband’s names and address as you plan to address the envelope (your best guess) and ask her to confirm that everything is correct and that you’ve correctly spelled her street name, husband’s name, etc. Then she’d have the opportunity to correct any titles, as necessary.
That might be a little less obvious than asking straight out, though I don’t see a problem with just asking, either.