(Closed) Invitation changed 5 times

posted 4 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
98 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Bluesmartieeater:  I’d be upset! That is rude of the bride’s mom! I would tell her “It seems there has been a lot of confusion over whether there is room for us to attend this wedding or not, and I no longer feel that I am truly welcomed. I wish your daughter a wonderful wedding day and happy marriage, and I hope the rest of your planning goes smoothly. My boyfriend and I will not be able to attend.” I wouldn’t even think about going anymore, nor would I send a gift.

Post # 3
118 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Ummmmm, after the first change, I would have made it real easy for the bride and her mother:  take me off of this crazy guest list they have.  What a mess!!!

Post # 4
1654 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I wouldn’t attend. Seems like they’re just stringing you along and it seems that they think you’re on retainer for her wedding. 

Post # 5
3725 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Bluesmartieeater:  You aren’t crazy for feeling like crap about this. The whole invite-uninvite-invite thing is what CHILDREN do. I would bow out and stay out of this one. I’m sorry your feelings are hurt but you did nothing wrong.

Post # 6
5161 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

Bluesmartieeater:  I wouldn’t go. Are you good friends with the daughter or did all female guests get invited to the party? I can’t believe HOW many times this woman has changed her mind – it’s incredibly rude and I would just not go.

Will you ever see the ex-colleague again? I would just say you cant attend after all. Then maybe say you can. Then say you cant. Then say you can and just not show up. (kidding… kind of!)


Post # 7
7357 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

I’d send my regrets as well.  Your “friend” seems more interested in other people than she is in you, as she’s “promoted” and “demoted” you several times, and always based on what other people are doing. I totally understand the tiered reception concept in the UK, and how the ceremony and meal is more intimate/smaller than the evening reception. Fair play. But to have you go back and forth between “close enough to me to be invited to the meal” and “not as close after all” is childish and silly, and it’s showing how little she values your relationship.  Send her a card and move on with life.

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