- 4 years ago
Apologies for the randomness of this post, but I could really do with some advise on this issue.
An an ex colleague of mine invited myself and my boyfriend to the evening reception of her daugther’s wedding, when the couple got engaged a year or so ago. We acccepted happily.
Then, a few months later, they said that some relatives had not replied to their invite within the required time scale, and there were now two free spaces at the meal, so would we like to go to the whole thing. We said yes, and thought that was the end of it.
I left my job at the start of this year, and texted my ex colleague, asking what colour the bridesmaid dresses were,so I did not wear a colour which clashed. She responded by saying she was really sorry, but some relatives they had not expected to come were now going to the wedding, and would my boyfriend and I mind going to the church and then having a gap until the evening do. This would have meant we would have to hang around for hours with nowhere to go, as the wedding is over an hour’s drive from where we live. But we agreed, as we felt it that relatives should come first and we had, after all, origianlly been invited to the evening do.
The, a few weeks ago, she texted again, saying that two people had dropped out, so did we want to revert back to attending the whole thing, meal included. We said yes.
That should have been the end if it. However, the bride to be recently had her hen do, which I attended. I am quite a shy person and tend to blend into the background in situations like this, which can make me seem quiet. I was unwell the weekend of the hen do, and also had a pulled back muscle, which had me in a lot of pain-both of which the other hens were aware of-so I was a bit subdued as a result.
Anyway, today I had a text from the bride’s mother-my ex colleague-telling me it was clear I had not enjoyed the hen do (I did), and that she did not want me and my boyfriend to feel under any obligation to attened the wedding, and that we could, just attend the evening do if that was easier, because they had other people who really wanted to go to the whole thing! she was really quite rude and my boyfriend is furious and now does not want to go at all.
am I being unreasonable and silly by feeling used and hurt? I feel that we are almost spare guests, to be called upon if gaps need to be filled. But is that being ridiculous? I don’t know whether we should go at all now, and just wondered what people’s thoughts were? Am I being a cow for feeling upset by this? Any thoughts would be welcome. Thank you.