(Closed) Invitation colour choice “offends” my FMIL

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
6892 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

Lol. She sounds like a gem!

I’m sure they are gorgeous, black and white always is!

Post # 4
2981 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Black is classy and elegant. Much like the opposite of her from the way she sounds. Who in their right mind would be offended by a black and white color scheme???

Post # 5
11356 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

I’m not here to defend your FMIL; however, she probably feels this way, because Miss Manners and some other traditional wedding-etiquette experts have long advised that black is an inappropriate color for a woman to even wear to a wedding, let alone a color in which to dress one’s bridesmaids. Your Future Mother-In-Law may be someone who adheres to this tradition, and that may explain her strong feelings about this.

I know that, tradition notwithstanding, black and white wedding themes, and bridesmaids dressed in black, have been very popular for a couple of decades now, so it’s likely that many younger brides have never even heard that this was an issue.  Basically, few know, and fewer care. 

Since you have chosen this theme, and since your in-laws are not hosting your wedding, your Future Mother-In-Law should not put her desire to adhere to this traditional etiquette above her ability to enjoy your wedding celebration. I hope she is able to put her concerns about this aside, since no one is going to be looking at her as not “knowing” this “rule,” since she is not the one hosting the wedding.  I hope she is able to focus on the happiness of her son and his new bride, while wearing a color that she finds appropriate and that you find acceptable, while not concerning herself with the color of your bridal party’s attire or your invitations.

Post # 6
1183 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

She would have HATED mine!! My invites were white text on black background!!! I love black with weddings.

Post # 7
2100 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

My mother was shocked that my wedding invitations were any thing other than black engraving on white or cream crane cardstock

Traditionally formal wedding invitations do not have color – mine are pink and gray letterpress πŸ™‚

You enjoy your black and white wedding and know that you will not please everybody πŸ™‚

Post # 8
1133 posts
Bumble bee

Ummm what? Haha is she actually offended by the color choice or just doesnt think it’s a good choice? Either choice is CRAYYZAYYY. Black and white is VERY classy πŸ™‚ 

Post # 9
4352 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Mine visited this weekend and informed me my venue (deep red) does not match my dress (pale blush). It happens. Just ignore her πŸ™‚

Post # 11
9056 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

Black and white is so elegant.  Just ignore her if she’s not paying.  I’m sure she’ll get over it when she realizes NOBODY else is offended.

Post # 12
7902 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

@unixfairy:  Exactly what I was going to say (and will say again anyway to assure the OP). Black and white is considered the most formal color combination for an invitation, no matter the color scheme of the wedding.  Whether people should wear black is a different matter.

Post # 13
1340 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

My mother kindly informed me tonight that black was an inapporopriate color for wedding shoes for my maids and definitely out of the question for me. I don’t see it, especially if it is a formal wedding and ours is taking place in the evening.

Post # 14
631 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’d love to see my Future Mother-In-Law expression when she sees our all black invites with white lettering. Bring out the smelling salts!

Post # 15
15 posts
  • Wedding: January 2014

Black and white sounds modern and elegant, I love it. Might not be to her taste, but its not her wedding!

Like you said, you’re the one paying for it, so you keep doing whatever you want. πŸ™‚

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