Post # 1
We need to order invitations soon, and I am driving myself crazy over the wording. I know traditionally it’s “Mr. and Mrs. Bride’s parents invite you to the marriage of their daughter,” but part of me would like to include FI’s parents and thinks “Mr. and Mrs. Bride’s parents and Mr. and Mrs. Groom’s parents invite you to the marriage of their children.”
I know it’s about who’s paying for the wedding and his parents aren’t contributing, but I keep thinking of it more symbolically and like the idea of both families extending an invitation together. I know his parents will send out the rehearsal dinner invite that won’t have my parents names on it, but on the other hand they’re sending us on a really nice honeymoon which kind of helps balance what my parents are putting into the reception, right? A final detail is that there’s been a little subtle drama here and there, and his parents are not thrilled that the wedding’s in my hometown instead of where we live now – I’m not sure how much that factors in.
I was just curious to get other people’s thoughts on this — should I stop overthinking and just keep it traditional?
Post # 3
Are your parents paying? If so, I would ask them how they feel since they are the hosts. If they are ok with it, go for it!
Post # 4
What we did, and DH’s parents did not pay for anything, it was primarily my parents/grandparents who paid, is below. I personally thought it was fair. DH’s parents were supporting us in other ways (we moved into their house after the wedding). I did put a thank you in the acknowledgment section of my programs.
request the honor of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter,
son of Groom’s parents
Post # 5
Have you asked your parents how they feel about it? I think if they are fine with it you can ask Fiance parents how they feel about it. If everyone likes the idea then I would go ahead with including both sets of parents on the invitation?
How does your Fiance feel about it?
Post # 6
If your parents are paying for the event, then they’re the hosts and it should be their names on the invitation.
The fact that your FI’s parents are paying for your honeymoon is awesome, but that has nothing to do with the actual wedding event.
It’s nice for guests to know who the hosts are so that they can thank people properly, or let the hosts know about any special accommodations they might need.
Post # 7
@pmerr: I second this approach, this way they are honored but it’s clear who is hosting, i.e. paying.
Post # 8
Neither one of our parents are paying for the wedding, but we wanted both sets on the invite, so we included them. I say go for it! Maybe check with your parents first since they are actually paying though.
Post # 9
If your parents are paying and his aren’t you can still include them. You write: Mr. and Mrs. Your Parents invite you to the marriage of their daughter First Name Middle Name to Groom First Name Middle Name Last Name, son of Mr and Mrs His parents…
Post # 10
@CMSnails: I asked my dad and he said he didn’t really care, but with a tone that made me think he would prefer if it was just him and my mom. I asked FI’s mom whether I should use his dad’s full name or nickname because I’ve always planned on at least doing the “son of” thing, and she pulled out an example that had both doing the inviting and said she liked that.
@stillme: The simple way you laid this out helps me — I never thought of the practical reasons for letting people know who’s hosting the reception.
Post # 11
@pmerr: When I asked FI’s mom about how to write his dad’s name to do the “son of” thing, she said something like “I’m sure people will know that he’s our son.” That’s probably part of what got me all confused and thinking about putting them both on there, because up until that point that had seemed like the perfect compromised way of including them. But if she doesn’t care, maybe I need to stop making that my problem.
Post # 12
I had this exact same problem. I talked to Future Mother-In-Law about it, and she was more comfortable with this wording:
Mr. and Mrs. B
request the honor of your presence at the marriage of their daughter
Mark (full name)
son of Mr. and Mrs. M
She was more comfortable with that wording. Let us know what you decide!
Post # 13
@Rockcandy: she sounds like she is thinking most of the guests on their side will know he is there son, but will all of your family? I know with my wedding, even though pretty much everyone had met my husband, but not all of my extended family had met his parents! If she doesn’t object to it, I would either do the “son of XXX” option or just not mention them if you want to be traditional. On my invitation my parents wanted it as traditional as possible, so only their names are listed. DH’s parents were listed on the programs, etc.
Post # 14
@Rockcandy: Unfortunately, you can do what you want, but you also need to balance what the wishes of the other people are (but only to an extent). If it seems like FI’s parent’s don’t want to be included, then don’t, especially if your parents sound like they want it to be just them. You still have to keep other people happy if they are (helping) pay for things. I guess you just have to do what makes everyone most happy. It’s the first thing of the wedding that everyone (guests) see.
Post # 15
@pmerr: +1 that’s what we did!
Post # 16
We are doing: “the Velazquez and Fredrickson families invite you to share in the joy of the marriage of their children X and X on (date)… Yadda yadda