(Closed) Invitation: does this sound okay in English?

posted 7 years ago in Paper
Post # 3
Member
7296 posts
Busy Beekeeper

gramatically, i think its ok. but here are a few suggestions:

You are most welcome to join us at:

– change to –-> It would be our pleasure if you joined us at:

 

.Could you please let us know before august 20th if you can join us

– change to –> Kindly RSVP before August 20th

 

Pretty much everyone on this site will tell you not to mention presents at all on your invitation at all, but thats your call if you do.  If you keep it, i would say this:

Tip: Instead of presents

– change to –> In lieu of gifts

Post # 4
Member
1962 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I think the translation looks pretty good. The only part that I would change is where you say: 

Could you please let us know before august 20th if you can join us. I would drop the “Could you” portion. 

Post # 5
Member
1962 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@dynamic_duo: I agree with the change on the “Tip” part.

Post # 7
Member
2819 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

I agree with @dynamic_duo:‘s suggestions! I have a couple of my own, though, too: Most people in English-speaking countries don’t use the 24hr clock very often, so I would suggest changing “13.30” to “1:30pm”. Also, “Saturday” and “August” are also capitalized in English, while “high tea” is not.

Your invitations are beautiful!

Post # 9
Member
224 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Hi, first of all, my mom says hi 🙂 We are dutch too.

Also for changes, I would drop the “could you.” And for a random change, there is usually a space between a period and a second sentence. I would also follow Jenniphyr’s advice about capitalization.

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