(Closed) Invitation Etiquette?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
11418 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

The formal, proper answer to your question is that, unless they are part of a couple, individuals age 18 or older residing at the same address each should receive his or her own invitation. So, in this instance, if you wanted to follow proper etiquette (which, by the way, I didn’t, because I did not know this at the time I sent my invitations), the parents should receive one invitation, and each of the three adult children should his or her own as well.

Post # 4
1880 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I would address to to Aunt & Uncle & family.

Post # 5
317 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@chocolatecoveredstrawberry:  While I know that what I’m about to suggest doesn’t satisfy Emily Post standards, I suggest that if the 3 adult children are invited (without dates) and there are no other children that your aunt & uncle have, rather than sending 4 invitations to one household I would just address the outer envelope to “Mr. & Mrs. Uncle X and children” then on the inner envelope I would simple write “Mr. & Mrs. Uncle X” and list the three children separately underneath.

hope this helps!

Post # 8
2268 posts
Buzzing bee

Though my suggestion wouldn’t make Emily Post happy, I would send one invitation with the envelope addressed to ‘The Harrison Family’ and the actual invitation to ‘James, May, Lily, Jack and Olive Harrison’.

Though ‘correct’ it doesn’t make much sense to send four invitations to the same address.

Post # 9
435 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I agree! One invitation to the family.

Post # 10
10453 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

I’d just do one invite for everyone. I will be doing that for a few people on my own list. 

Post # 12
1696 posts
Bumble bee

Well, I would send one invitation per adult, as is proper, but you probably guessed that. I might if I trusted the lady of the house, send all four invitations in the same envelope. But if I didn’t know her, or couldn’t trust her not to be scatter-brained, how would I know that the adults I wanted to invite ever even received the invitation? At least if the outer envelope is actually addressed to them, it is against the law for anyone else to open or interfere with their mail.

If the names are all on the same invitation, formal etiquette holds that the invitation is an all-or-nothing invitation. If the parents cannot come, then the kiddies are not welcome. When I was keeping house for my father in his eighties, we would receive invitations to “Mr Phipps and Aspasia”. It made me feel — in my forties, after a successful business career and a life of civil service — as though they thought of me as a pre-adolescent and didn’t really want me there at all. It also made me wonder just what sort of a household they thought we held, if they considered a man and his forty-year-younger daughter to be a “social unit”. Ick, just ick.

You know your friends. If they do not know what is implied by being included on the same invitation card as their parents, or don’t care, then do as you please. If you do not know that they will be unoffended, then why waste your fancy invitations by sending them in a way that makes your guests think “ick”? They may not ever say anything, at least to you. But they may be thinking it.

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