(Closed) Invitation Etiquette

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: For people that already told you they can't come to your wedding, do you still send them an invite?
    Yes... just out of courtesy. : (42 votes)
    89 %
    No need.... save the invite for someone else. : (5 votes)
    11 %
  • Post # 3
    445 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2009


    And yes.

    Post # 4
    1313 posts
    Bumble bee

    I think it is proper etiquette, but seems pointless! 🙁

    I’m sure it is just ‘the thought’ and ‘the courtesy’

    Post # 5
    42 posts
    • Wedding: March 2010

    I say no.  It seems pointless to waste an invitation.

    Post # 6
    1207 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2009

    It is proper etiquette, and you never know, whatever they had planned may fall through and they end up coming anyway!  Besides, how would you feel in their shoes?  What if one of your FI’s friends was getting married, but you had to work and couldn’t come.  Wouldn’t you feel a little hurt if your name wasn’t included on the invite?

    Post # 7
    1046 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2010

    Yes, you should definitely still send them an invitation to make sure that they know that you wanted to include them! Plus, things change and they might be able to come. Also, they might want to send you a gift and probably won’t do so if you don’t actually invite them.

    Post # 8
    6572 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: February 2010

    yes, you’re still supposed to invite them even if they’ve already told you no.

    Post # 9
    1465 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    It’s up to you but I would probably send them an invite because the invitation to attend is still open and anything is possible before your wedding day and there may be something come up that allows them to attend. If someone really wants to attend, they will do whatever it takes to get there. That line of thinking that someone says a year or two ahead that they absolutely cannot make it doesn’t make sense to me unless you have a job that requires you to be at work on a specific day (most don’t), since no one can see that far into the future and say that something absolutely is not possible.

    Post # 10
    997 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2010 - The Pierre Hotel

    I don’t know what the “proper” etiquette is, but I’m planning on sending invites to those who already let me know they can’t attend, just so they know I would have loved to have them there! I will probably include a note expressing as much, so they don’t think I’m asking for a gift.

    Post # 11
    1892 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    Yes! I would…I have a few guests who already told us they wont be able to make it, but I planned on sending them an invite anyway. I also know a lot of my extended family wont be attending (they didn’t come to my brothers either), but I feel like I have to send them an invitation anyway because they are family. Ijust feel it’s the “right” thing to do in both cases

    Post # 12
    545 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 1969

    Yes and yes. It’s the least you can do for the people you’d like at your wedding whether they can attend or not.  I don’t consider that as a waste; it’s a kind and considerate gesture.

    Post # 13
    5496 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2010

    Yep, I did! My family in Florida can’t make the wedding but I still sent them an invite! And like somebody mentioned, they may change their plans and be able to come.

    Post # 14
    1250 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    I would send an invite. I think its a nice way to include them and express your desire to have them involved in your special day – that sentiment is important regardless of whether they’ll be able to come or not.

    Think about it this way too…its a reminder to them that you are getting married, so maybe they’ll still buy you a wedding gift! (Not to be totally selfish or anything, but hey, just trying to point out the potential positives on sending a “wasted” invitation!)

    Post # 15
    2208 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    Yeah, I’m still doing it.

    Post # 16
    4765 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: January 2011 - Vintage Villas

    I definitely would. You never know if their plans may suddenly change and they can come – you wouldn’t want them to think they weren’t invited! Plus, it’s a nice gesture just to let them know that you wish they could be there!

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