Post # 1
I have a question concerning invitation etiquette when it comes to inviting parents with small children. The venue we are having our reception at is pretty nice and I really don’t want to have to deal with small children running around and potentially breaking stuff/being a disturbance during the reception. I really want the grown ups to feel like they can have a relaxing night with no worries. Now, how do I go about relaying this to my guests? Do I explicity state in the invite not to bring small children or do I just put the names of the parents and assume they will understand that it only means them? Any advice is welcome and appreciated! =)
Post # 3
I just realized how anti-children I sound. I really do love children but I do not want them to become an issue that particular night. haha
Post # 4
People should know that the only ones invited are the ones whose names are on the invitation. Unfortunately, too many people either don’t know or choose to ignore etiquette.
The best that you can do is:
Address the invitations to specific names
Add “Adult reception” where you give the information about the reception
Be very specific on your rsvp cards:
“we have reserved ___________ seats in your honor (Fill in 1, 2 etc before you mail)
choice of entree
M ________________ accepts declines chicken beef pasta
(fill in the name before you mail)
M_______________ etc etc etc
You can add something to your website if you are having one where you give more information about the adult recpetion and the unsuitability of the venue for children if you like.
In the end, you will still have people adding in other names, adding guests, substituting guests and telling you they are bringing their children.
You will have to make phone calls to reiterate ” I’m sorry, but we are unable to accomodate- your extra guests, your children etc.
Post # 5
Technically, only the people mentioned on the invitation are invited. But some people choose to ignore that, such as these ladies:
How many guests with small children do you have? If it is in your budget, could you offer a babysitter that takes care of all the little ones during your wedding?
Post # 6
Thank you so much for those examples, they are very helpful. Hopefully I can mitigate most of these issues.
Post # 7
My ceremony and reception are at the same place so on my invitation I just wrote “Adult Reception to Follow”
Post # 8
@AprilJo2011…those are hillarious and scary stories! haha I can definitely see some of the people on our guest list saying/doing that. Oh geeze!
@Aheavel…Thank you! I will probably just end up putting the same thing.
Post # 9
Just put the names of the guests you are inviting on the invitation. If someone replies with more than 2 (or whatever the number is) or you hear through the grapevine that they’re planning on bringing their kids, then call them and explain that you are so sorry, but children are not able to attend the wedding.
Post # 10
Some people think its rude, but I put “Adult reception to follow” right on the bottom of the invites!!! I think the more blunt the better that way there is no confusion!
Post # 11
Add “Adults Only please” to your invites and rsvp cards
Post # 12
I asked this same question prior to sending out our invites and people DO NOT seem to understand that the invitation is only for those listed on the actual invitation. We’ve had at least 6 couples RSVP for their children, who were NOT invited.
If I had to do it over again, I would have put “Adult Only Reception” on the actual invitation … but then you have to stick to it – that means absolutely, positively NO KIDS.
We’ve had to send emails and make phone calls to let our guests know their little ones aren’t invited and it has not been going over very well. We all assume that guests know proper etiquette and how to know who is invited, but I’m here to tell you – they don’t (or at least my guests don’t). I’ve got another 2 weeks left on my RSVP date and who knows how many more parents I’ll have to call/email and let them know their children can’t come.
Post # 13
Are you wanting no small children or no children at all? If you say no children and the parents of a 3 year old see a 10 year old at the reception, they may feel hurt/angry and may take it personally. If it is small children and not all children I think you should find the appropriate wording for that.
Post # 14
I put “adult reception to follow” on ours.
Post # 15
Thank you all for your responses.
We will have two ring bearers that are 2 years old…they are both of our nephews. The dad of one is a groomsman and the mom of the other is my sister, matron of honor. The only other small child we will have is also 2 and she is one of the flower girls. Her mother is also one of my bridesmaids. My other niece who is 8 will also be a flower girl. Do ya’ll think this will upset people?
These children are all very close to me and their parents play a significant role in the wedding and therefore deserve to be there.
Post # 16
@Mannyttu41: I would say children in the wedding party are exempt from such rules..Ive seen others who disagree with this but in the end its your day..