(Closed) Do I still have to invite THIS guest?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 4
4887 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Nah, I wouldn’t invite her.  I’m not a full supporter of “you MUST invite those who receive an STD”.  Things change, no need to fret.

Post # 5
336 posts
Helper bee

I wouldn’t invite her, either. You obviously don’t really want her there so don’t even worry about her too much.

Post # 6
3374 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Do you know her outside of work? Will you ever see her again?

If not, I’d say don’t invite her. I actually didn’t invite coworkers.

Post # 7
6892 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

I don’t think so.

Like PP said, things change sometimes between sending Save-The-Date Cards and Invites. I just think if she had received an invite you can’t “un-invite.” But since it was just a STD, and in such a circumstance, I’m sticking with no.

Post # 9
7689 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

You could invite her if you wanted to, and leave it up to her if she wants to decline.

Post # 10
4887 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@amw511s:  I’m willing to bet she wouldn’t come at this point even if she was invited, so I doubt there’d be any hard feelings.  She might be relieved to not get an invite, you know?

Post # 11
3692 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011


Her feelings may still get hurt.  The purpose of a STD is to let someone know that in invitaion is forthcoming.  

Post # 12
705 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@strawbabies: She hit her student–I think that there are other things to worry about then whether or not her feelings get hurt.

Post # 13
1728 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I vote for “her invitation gets lost in the mail”…

Post # 14
2825 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I wouldn’t invite her, but if she’s someone you run into outside of work then I would send her an email giving her a heads up about not being comfortable with her being there if the wedding is Out of Town… So she doesn’t book a hotel room or anything and then doesn’t get an invitation…

If the wedding is in town though, I would probably just let it go and not invite her.

Post # 15
65 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

If you don’t want to invite her now, don’t. She received an STD, not an invitation. If you don’t have contact with her anymore she shouldn’t be surprised when she doesn’t receive an invite. Your wedding day will be less awkward for you and your current coworkers without her there.

Post # 16
4485 posts
Honey bee

This is a valid exception to the rule of save the dates. I definitely would not invite this woman, nor are you obligated to.

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