(Closed) Invitation Question about Plus Ones

posted 7 years ago in Paper
Post # 3
Member
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

why dont you address the invite to the specific people you want to invite. Actually put the names of the plus ones that you do want to come, that way its clear that the invite is for that specific person only

Post # 4
Member
2313 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I gave a plus one to all married people, engaged people, and people who are in a serious relationship. I did not give a plus to one to single people I felt sure would not be coming (mostly courtesy invites) and people who most likely would not have bothered bringing a plus one with them. However, that bit me in the ass, because I sent an invite to an aquaintance who lives 1500 miles away and did not give her a plus one as I did not think she’d make it and she does not have a husband, fiance, or boyfriend in any case. Then she sent me a message saying, “I might come and my sister said she’d be my plus one to make the trip more affordable for me!” And I had to very awkwardly inform her that her RSVP card did say she had 1 seat reserved in her honor and I did not give her a plus one. I’ve never even met her sister! 

What I’m saying is, it’s safe to give plus ones to those in serious relationships, or those who do not know anyone else at the wedding and would be uncomfortable without a date. But be prepared if you DON’T give someone a plus one to explain your reasoning and be direct with them. Otherwise your guest list will get out of control. 

Post # 5
Member
37 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I addressed anyone that was single with Ms. BLAH BLAH BLAH and Guest on the mailing label and save the date. On the RSVPs I left it as:

adult name(s) ______________________

 Most that are not with anyone are not going to bring anyone, unless they are seriously dating someone. 

Post # 6
Member
624 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I gave a plus one to all single people. I know a lot of them are friends who won’t bring someone because they will be hanging out with the other single friends at the wedding anyways. There are only a handful that didn’t get a plus one.

That’s rude to put only 1 on your rspv and then add somone. If it doesn’t say plus one, then that means it’s only you.

Post # 7
Member
591 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

For people with no plus ones, I put their name on the outside and on the RSVP card, I had a line that said “We have reserved _____ seats in your honor” and I would write 1 in the blank spot.

We decided not to give plus ones to anyone who was not married, not engaged or not in a serious relationship. We’ve had three guys (all on my FI’s side) come to us and say “Can I bring my girlfriend?” One of them is my FI’s cousin who we aren’t very close with (probably see him twice a year during holidays). But Fiance didn’t want to say no to him. The second one …he is in the bridal party. He has only been dating this girl for 3-4 weeks (met her online). But he is in the bridal party so how do you say no to someone who is spending money to be in our wedding? And the third is a friend of FI’s that called and pleaded with me to have his gf of 2 months come. I kindly explained why we didn’t give him a plus one and eventually caved in. We’ve met her a couple times. I’m not sure if this is rude, but I said that I’d like to check back with him before we have to give headcounts. He totally understood and assured me they would still be together. We just don’t want to end up spending money on people who don’t come.

Post # 7
Member
591 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Sorry double post! 

Post # 8
Member
3049 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

I sent out my invitations already, some had plus ones (those who I knew would be bored by themselves, or those with SOs). However, now I feel bad about my decision. I already told some of my friends that if they really want to bring a date then to go ahead, and let me know. I was scared that our guest list would get out of control. And now that we have enough room for extra guests, I’m thinking more like one of my “guests”. Would I have fun at my wedding without bringing an unknown girlfriend? Would I have fun coming with other friends invited, or would I feel more comfortable knowing I have a date?

Just some things to ask yourself. For some of my friends, I still think they’ll be fine coming as a group… since they all know each other. But for the most part, I regret not giving plus ones to everyone. Not that anyone listened to me, all kinds of RSVPS added extra guests already. Baha! 🙂

Post # 9
Member
5654 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2011

We gave +1 to married and engaged. Everyone else had 1 seat reserved for them with the exception to 2 familys were the children were teenagers that we were very close to.

We set up 5 lines to write names on (the largest family invited was 5)

and here’s how we specified for singles

1 seat has been reserved in your honor

___ of 1 guest(s) will be attending (& so on for the 2 guests or family of 5 guests)

Post # 10
Member
389 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

This is my problem to. 

I feel engaged/married is a obvious yes, and single people bringing dates is an obvious no, but I am on the fence about boyfriends/girlfriends. I don’t know where to cut it off. I might just say engaged/married/commonlaw, but then no boyfriends/girlfriends unless I or Fiance is friends with them as well. Because I have a rough guest list, and we haven’t invited everyone we would like to, but it is almost maxed out. 

But this is my problem.. I am doing invites without the RSVP cards and everything. So it will just have the envelope with their name on it. Then they RSVP by email.. or wedding website. I am scared that people might not notice and then put their plus ones in when they RSVP since it doesn’t say “we have reserved 1 seat in your honour”

Has anyone dealt with invitations without RSVP cards? How many people added people when you sent out your invites?

Post # 11
Member
27 posts
Newbee

I am doing this:

 

Please respond on or before [DATE]

We have reserved 2 seats in your honour

M__________________________________

___ of 2 will attend  ___ of 2 will not attend

Please initial the entree choice of each guest

____ Chicken  ____ Salmon  ____ Vegetarian

 

Im not sure if it is too repetitive, or too in your face. We are having a tight guest list with a pre-selected meal (using color coordinated escort cards). We want something where we know who will be having which entree, and to let people know that they can either bring a guest or not, and if they choose to do so.

What do you ladies think about the wording?

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