Post # 1
A big hello to everyone! I’m new to wedding bee!
So I have a few questions regarding invitations.
So we decided no more than 150 people. Less if possible
I’ve been working on my half of the guest list, and my question is about cousins because I have a Ton! And they all have kids 2 or more each. Some cousins I’ve only seen once in my life, some I’ve never met. I have one cousin I’d love for her to be at my wedding but she has two brothers I barely know. Would it be rude to invite her and not the other two? I also have a second cousin I’m kinda close to would it be rude to invite her but not the rest of the cousins.
I have other cousins who couldn’t care less about me but I’m close with their mom.
And lastly a cousin I’m not planning on inviting because he cheated on And left his wife and child for a stranger on the internet. How do I tactfully tell my uncle he’s not invited? I’m planning on inviting his wife and daughter because I love then dearly.
Thank goodness I have no cousins on my mother’s side
Any advice is welcome
Post # 2
I think the most diplomatic thing is to invite all of one “tier” of cousins- BUT if you literally dont know or have any relationship with some how can they protest? Especially if theyre all adults. I wouldnt pick and choose kids.
Post # 3
Last night I was on one of my cousins face book pages making sure I had the spelling of her Last name right and discovered she had 2 brothers. I only thought she had the one
Post # 4
I have the same issue–my dad has 11 siblings and my mother has 5. I’m very close to my aunts, uncles, cousins, cousins kids, etc., on my mother’s side, so they are all invited no matter the “level”. The whole line is invited down to the 3rd cousin removed babies 🙂 .
I grew up close to my dad’s side, but many of those cousins (35!) are much older than me and over the last many years we only see each other at funerals (and not many of those) and a rare family reunion. I’m in my 30’s so they are mostly 40-50’s. BUT, I do often see a handful of the cousins, and there are even some of the cousins kids closer to my age who I’m close to. So on my dad’s side I”m inviting my 8 aunts and uncles (others deceased) and only those cousins/second cousins who I have a current relationship with–maybe 10 of the 35 first cousins and 3 second cousins. I cannot imagine that a cousin who I have not seen or talked to in years will be offended not to be invited to a wedding! And ya, I’m “splitting families”. For example, I have a female cousin a couple years older than me and we have always kept a relationship. She has two older brothers in their 40’s who live out of town and I have not seen in years. I am inviting my female cousin, her mom (my aunt, uncle is deceased) and not inviting the brothers. They will likely heave a sigh of relief.
Inviting an entire “tier” is a good idea if you have a normal sized family, but with the old-school huge families, with cousins having a 30 year age gap from oldest to youngest, it doesn’t make sense.