(Closed) Invitation questions

posted 3 years ago in Guests
Post # 2
9614 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

I think the most diplomatic thing is to invite all of one “tier” of cousins- BUT if you literally dont know or have any relationship with some how can they protest? Especially if theyre all adults. I wouldnt pick and choose kids.

Post # 4
44 posts
  • Wedding: July 2016

I have the same issue–my dad has 11 siblings and my mother has 5.   I’m very close to my aunts, uncles, cousins, cousins kids, etc., on my mother’s side, so they are all invited no matter the “level”.  The whole line is invited down to the 3rd cousin removed babies 🙂 .

I grew up close to my dad’s side, but many of those cousins (35!) are much older than me and over the last many years we only see each other at funerals (and not many of those) and a rare family reunion.  I’m in my 30’s so they are mostly 40-50’s.  BUT, I do often see a handful of the cousins, and there are even some of the cousins kids closer to my age who I’m close to.  So on my dad’s side I”m inviting my 8 aunts and uncles (others deceased) and only those cousins/second cousins who I have a current relationship with–maybe 10 of the 35 first cousins and 3 second cousins.  I cannot imagine that a cousin who I have not seen or talked to in years will be offended not to be invited to a wedding!  And ya, I’m “splitting families”.  For example, I have a female cousin a couple years older than me and we have always kept a relationship.  She has two older brothers in their 40’s who live out of town and I have not seen in years.  I am inviting my female cousin, her mom (my aunt, uncle is deceased) and not inviting the brothers.  They will likely heave a sigh of relief.  

Inviting an entire “tier” is a good idea if you have a normal sized family, but with the old-school  huge families, with cousins having a 30 year age gap from oldest to youngest, it doesn’t make sense.  


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