(Closed) Invitation Questions

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
2201 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Lots of questions!

1. We only invited folks with long term SO’s. We did get some questions from friends asking if they could bring their boy/girlfriends (some we actually didn’t realize that they were dating someone) and by that time, we’d gotten some “No”s back, so we said sure.

2. On our invites, we put “Together with their parents . . .” instead of listing the parents’ names. It worked for us, not sure if it will work for you. My parents paid, but they were okay with the change.

3. We didn’t do inner envelopes and just put the RSVP envelope with a stamp inside.

4. We printed a separate card that said something like “For accomodations, directions and parking information, please visit http://www.weddingsite.com” instead of just putting it on the invite itself.

5. And for families that we knew would be offended by our no-children rule, we made an additional insert that said something like “it is the couple’s wish to have an adult-only event. We understand that this may cause some inconvenience for you, but hope that you will still be able to attend.” (note, actual language was more “polite” but had the same meaning. PM me if you want a copy of the actual note)

6. I would think just a direction card from the church to the reception would be nice. Most people will google directions to the church itself.

Post # 4
Member
1057 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

If they’re helping pay, include them on the invite. I like the wording you chose.

What we did was we included directions to the ceremony in the invite suite and then we are having a basket of directions to the reception at the back of the church so that as the guests walk in, they take a thing of bubbles and a reception directions card. We included reception information in the invite suite and said that further instruction and direction would be available at the ceremony. 

Post # 5
Member
7173 posts
Busy Beekeeper

1.  I think your wording is fine – I’d use their first names (John and Betty Smith vs. Mr and Mrs Smith).

2.  You can have one card with multiple directions – meaning, directions to the church (say, on one side) and then directions to the reception (on the other) – or put both on the same card.  I personally like fewer cards – less to lose!!   And, yes, reference your website on the cards as well.

3.  Yes, you can do it that way – it’s less ‘traditional’ but definitely done (mine was this way).  I included the “# of seats reserved in your honor” wording on my RSVP cards, to eliminate any question as to how many people were invited.  I’d strongly suggest you do the same (since you are giving some people +1’s and not others).

Post # 6
Member
1872 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

Hope I get them all!

1. It’s fine to exclude children and to invite people as singles. However, I don’t think that it’s a good idea to do anything to indicate you don’t want children on the invitation–saying “adults only” or “no children” can kind of leave a bad taste in people’s mouths–you want your invite to be about extending your hospitatlity, not highlighting who you are rejecting. So address the envelope to the parents only and if you want, you can also write on the rsvp card, “We have reserved (# of adults) seats in your honor.” If problems arise regarding people wanting to bring their kids, deal with them on a case by case basis, rather than preemptively through the invitation.

2. The only names that need to be on the invitation are the honorees’ and the hosts’ (who’s paying for it). For harmony’s sake, your wording for the invitation is perfect–right after FI’s name. “Together with their parents” implies that the wedding is a joint financial venture between your parents, your FI’s parents, AND the two of you. Including your FI’s parents underneath your parents’ names indicates they are co-hosting (re: also paid for) the event, so before you do that, you have to ask your parents if they’re okay with it because if they’re paying, they might want (and deserve) the credit.

3. You can do as many direction cards as you want–we just did a map of the location and included our website in the invitation which has more comprehensive directions. I think that a direction card in addition to a map is really only necessary if the way to your church or reception site is unusually complicated.

4. Inner envelopes are an antequated tradition (I can go into where it comes from if you’re curious, but it’s kind of a long story) and not necessary. Address the envelope specifically to who you want to invite. Also, if money is a concern, consider having a rsvp postcard instead of one with an envelope–you’ll save the cost of the envelope and postage will be cheaper.

Post # 7
Member
443 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I think most of your questions are covered, but wanted to throw in my two cents re: maps. I agree that you can do as many cards as you like in the invite – we did a map…but soon realized that our guests would forget it, lose it, etc., so we also printed the map from church to reception on the back of our programs. It was about a 5 minute ride (and a straight shot), but you wouldn’t believe how many guests told us they referred to the map because they forgot the card in their invite! If you did this for your church-to-reception map, it might cut down on the amount of work you have to do for the invites as well as the cost of postage…

Post # 8
Member
37 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@allisonc:  Ohhh, I have never thought of that! Almost all of my SO’s family is coming from another province. I suppose a map to the reception isn’t really required in the invitation. You are a smart lady!

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