Post # 1
There are three girls with whom I was roommates in college. Two of them invited us to their weddings this year, but we are definitely not going to one and still debating on the other, but likely not going. The thing is, we’ve grown completely apart, and if not for the fact that they’ve both been planning for over a year (got engaged when we were still in touch), I doubt I would have even been invited to theirs. One is out of state and recently visited the area; I found out when she got home and put it on Facebook. The other is two hours from here, but we didn’t even hang out when she lived across the hall. The third girl I am just friends with because of the former roommate situation; we weren’t even that close when we lived together. I do like these girls. I wish we had stayed in better touch, and when everyone first went their separate ways, I really did make an effort to try to set up lunches or email or call. But you know how it goes. Everyone was too busy or what have you.
To make a long story short (too late! ) — Would you invite them? I feel like I should since they invited us to theirs, even though we are not going. And if they did decide to come, it would be a nice gesture of theirs to get back in touch, since I do feel like I did my best before. I mention the third girl because there is no way I could leave her out if I invite the other two, even though she’d be the first from the list to get cut. It’s just that we are trying to crunch numbers and obviously trimming the guest list is the best way to do that.
Post # 3
I don’t think that you are obligated to invite these girls by etiquette. Should you invite them anyway? I think it depends on your budget and guest list constraints. And also on whether you’re a “the more, the merrier” type of bride or whether you’re trying to keep the day small and intimate. Either way, I don’t think you can go wrong.
Post # 4
Only invite them if you truly want them there, not out of obligation. There was a couple who invited us to their wedding, very first wedding Fiance and I attended together, but we didn’t reciprocate because we don’t stay in touch with them and we had space issues with our venue.
Do what works best for you.
Post # 5
If I were in your situation, I would probably invite them, but by no means are you obligated to.
There are 2 couples on that we haven’t kept in touch with since college, but invited them anyway since they invited us. We have the room and didn’t want to stir up any drama/ill-feelings.
Post # 6
You are definitely not obligated to invite them. Every wedding has it’s own budget and venue which affects how many guests you can invite. Also many people want small weddings now and only invite their closest friends and family. I doubt they would be offended.
Post # 7
I don’t think you are obligated to invite them at all. You can only invite as many people as you can afford. If they don’t make the cut, then that’s OK. But, I will say that if I was one of these girls my feelings would probably be a little hurt only because you are obviously important to them (unless they are having huge weddings and just inviting everyone they know) and it may hurt to feel like they are not important to you as well. I think you should do what works for your budget, but just be aware that there may be some hurt feelings.