Post # 1
My partner and I handwrote our wedding invitations. We are having a big wedding (130) but it is casual (we’re having it a relative’s). I didn’t send invitations to three people: my partner’s mom, dad and aunt. I guess I didn’t send them an invite because we knew they were coming – they live in the same city as us, we see them usually 1-2 times per week, and they have heard a lot about the wedding. In hindsight, yes I should have written them an invite.
Our aunt has now sent us an email advising she looks forward to coming to the wedding, if she is invited. We replied to her saying of course she is invited. She sent a second passive aggressive email asking where and when the wedding is. She knows where it is – she was just there four days ago for a family supper where we spent a lot of time talking about the wedding.
What would you do? I feel bad, in hindsight I realize now I should have sent her an invite. But now I’m also mad and feel hurt by her emails.
Post # 3
You should have sent them all invitations regardless if they “knew.” We are still sending formal invitations to both of our parents, even though they know exactly where and when the wedding is. I’m sure she’s hurt that she didn’t get one. Maybe you could say it got lost in the mail and send her a new one, or be straight-forward and say you didn’t send one because you knew she was coming. Whichever option suits you better, I guess.
Post # 4
It sounds like she’s mad and hurt that she didn’t receive an invite and in turn has set out to make you feel the same. Be the bigger person, apologize for the oversight and send each of them an invite. It’s all you can do!
Post # 5
I guess hand deliver the invitations to those who are slighted by it, since they are in the same city as you, and the wedding is less than 10 days… assuming that they “know” is not always a good reason to skip the invitations, people love to get them in the mail and they are keepsakes.
Post # 6
@MsMindle: Yes, you’re probably right. Thanks.
Post # 7
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
I would say “I’m so sorry! It must have gotten lost in the mail. Let me hand deliver one to you this weekend.”
Post # 8
- Wedding: November 2011 - Florida Aquarium
@beachbride1216: Totally this! Just blame the mailperson and correct the wrong.
Post # 9
Either come clean or blame the mail person. Everyone invited to a wedding should receive an invitation, regardless of your relationship with them. If I was your aunt, I don’t know if I would be passive aggressive, but honestly until you receive an invitation you really don’t know if you’re invited or not.
Post # 10
Send the remaining people an invite ASAP and hope they calm down. My parents haven’t RSVP’d yet because “obviously they are going to be there” but I told my Dad last night he better not waste my stamp! LOL!
Post # 11
@phoenixandstars: I did the same thing to all my relatives! “Put it in the mail!!”
I was even a little miffed when my in-laws just handed it back to me “well you can reuse the stamp!” No… I can’t… it’s stuck on an envelope with my maiden name and address on it that I was hoping to find in my mailbox last week to brighten my day.
@outportbride: Send them an invitation, blame the mail or bride-brain. 130 people is big enough that everyone should get an invite. Some people like to keep them, too, especially close family!
Post # 12
don’t be upset by the emails. you really should have sent everyone an invite.
tell her that you are sorry and that she of course is invited and if she wants an invite as a keepsake, you will get her one.