(Closed) invitation situation

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
5668 posts
Bee Keeper

You’re 100% fine with just putting your parent’s as hosts. If Future In-Laws complain, just calmly state that you are following proper ettiquette by acknowledging the hosts. I wouldn’t bother showing them beforehand, it’ll just make things more difficult for you if they try to insist you change it.

Post # 4
Member
2781 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I agree if you show them ahead of time they will flip and expect you to change them. Also I think the act of showing them in advance will make them feel you think you’re doing something wrong. Show them and change them or start world war 3 over it, or leave them as is, don’t show them and when they complain, just explain ettiquette dictates you honor the hosts this way which would be your parents.

Post # 5
Member
5075 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

don’t show them.  Just mail them.  They’ll see it when they get it. Wink

Post # 6
Member
4194 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

Wait for them to receive them. What are you going to do if she flips out- change it? No, so don’t show her.

Post # 7
Member
255 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

You are following proper form. Those who pay/host are mentioned. If Father-In-Law flip you send them to Emily Post.

Post # 8
Member
327 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I think there is a saying that goes “Dont ask for permission.. but later ask for forgiveness”

Don’t bother asking them… that’s two headaches instead of one!!!! 

Post # 9
Member
7752 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

You are doing it correctly. Let them flip out…. and let your fiance handle her. If necessary, if she phones you to complain, hand you fiance the phone (or politely end the conversation and get him to phone her). Remember that each person should handle their own side of the family, so dealing with Future Mother-In-Law is primarily FI’s job, not yours.

Post # 10
Member
7752 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Just to follow up my last post… in other words, if your fiance is fine with not telling them (and dealing with the fallout), then trust his judgement. He knows them better than you do.

Post # 11
Member
515 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Emily Post says the people paying/hosting should be the ones issuing the invitation. In my case, we are paying, so the invitation was issued by us. If my parents were paying, but his weren’t, we would have worded it that my parents request the honour of everyone’s presence at the wedding of their daughter, me, and Fiance, son of so-and-so. So you could mention them, while still giving your parents credit. Maybe that would be the way to go if you think FI’s parents will be hurt at not being named at all?

Post # 13
Member
569 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I don’t believe the invitations should be an opportunity to show who’s paying. My parents have contributed, FI’s parents and step-parents haven’t, but we put “Together with their families” to include everyone and be nice.

Post # 14
Member
120 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Your parents deserve  credit and if they want to b listed as host too they need to foot some of the bill

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