Invitation/STD Addressee Etiquette

posted 1 month ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
10840 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

You have it right. Save-The-Date Cards are unnecessary but adults should get their own separate invitations or notifications. 

Post # 3
Member
1021 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

Etiquette probably agrees with you, but most of my family agrees with your mother in law. One aunt has 3 adult grandchildren living in her home and said it was wasteful to send 4 invites to one home. I’m planning on doing hers last so if I have extras then I can do one for the adult grandchildren and if not, then they will be on one. 

How adult are you really if you’re still living at home? (No offense intended… I lived at home briefly after college, but meant more that age is just a number sometimes and adulthood can also be judged by the degree of independence they exhibit. If they are living at home and dependent on the parents then it does seem reasonable to consider them a family unit for invites.)

Post # 4
Member
971 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2019

I believe traditionally each adult gets their own invite. As far as STD’s, they don’t need to follow etiquette as strictly I believe, as far as what I’ve read anyway. But I think technically each adult should still get their own.

But if I were in your shoes, I’d probably humor your Future Mother-In-Law and do it her way for her side of the family, and do it however you want for your side. It’s just STD’s, I don’t think it’s a big deal to just do it per family unit for her side if that’s what she really wants.

Post # 5
Member
737 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2019

We did what your Future Mother-In-Law is suggesting. We sent our STD’s to each family – The Smith Family – even if there were adult kids living at home (still a few cousins living at home through college). For invites, we’ll give each person over 18 their own invite, regardless of if they still live at home or not.

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