(Closed) invitation – unsure of hosting wording

posted 4 years ago in Family
Post # 2
Member
9663 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

Honestly, this is up to you. What’s more important to you, letting everyone know you are the hosts or keeping the peace in an spread tense situation.

Post # 3
Member
47188 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

valerius:  Your suggestion is not wrong. It does however not give the guests any idea re who is hosting. Note, I said hosting, not paying.

If you want to be acknowledged as the hosts, check with your son and FDIL to see what they think.

Commonly used phrasing “Together with their families, ___ and ____ …” is another choice of wording. It also doesn’t tell people who is hosting, rather it lets guests think everyone is. People seem to manage, just fine.

Post # 4
Member
50 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

We are saying “Together with their families, Elizabeth Ann and Andrew Hughston request your presence at their wedding” that way no one’s toes get stepped on. However, it is up to you! 

Post # 5
Member
81 posts
Worker bee

First of all I want to say that there is nothing wrong with a family not contributing to the costs of a couple’s wedding. The parents do not have to pay for everything. The cost of a wedding is a good first test to the financial trials a couple will go through. Not saying that it’s bad for parents to contribute, but just because her family can’t or doesn’t want to take part doesn’t make them bad. 

The wedding invitations should be more about the couple getting married. Perhaps on their wedding website you can say somewhere that the wedding is being hosted by you. But, it is your money so it’s really your choice, not anyone elses. 

  • This reply was modified 3 years, 7 months ago by  punchberry. Reason: typo
Post # 6
Member
1149 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

As you are the ones paying and hosting, I’d say it’s really up to you.  

If you don’t mind not being recognized as the sole hosts, you could say something like ” bride and groom, together with their families…” so you can keep the peace.  If it’s really important to you to have your names on the invitation, there’s no reason not to since you are the hosts.

Post # 7
Member
1604 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I would be more worried about my son, and wondering if he is getting a prenup.  I never heard of the bride or her family not paying for her dress.   

Post # 8
Member
422 posts
Helper bee

Say “together with their families” if you want to keep the peace, and trust that your son will find a sincere, personal way to thank you for all that you’re doing for his wedding.

I’ve always wondered why anyone need to know who hosts the wedding? It’s always sounded like a way of saying “these people paid for the wedding and therefore get the privilege of having their names listed on the invitation,” rather than a grateful acknowledgement of the financial contribution.

 

Post # 9
Member
217 posts
Helper bee

My parents are paying for the wedding, but the venue is at my FIL’s house, so we will be saying ‘together with their families’

Post # 11
Member
4036 posts
Honey bee

We go by the no pay, no say rule. Who are you looking to approve it – the bride/groom or the FDIL’s family?

Post # 12
Member
2098 posts
Buzzing bee

valerius:  It doesn’t matter what your friend thinks. You could find out that other friends of yours think the opposite. In end, what do the bride and groom prefer? It’s their invitation, their wedding. Do you feel so strongly that you need “credit” for hosting and paying that you want to have it in writing for all to see? As a bride with some parents paying/helping and others not, I chose to leave off parents’ names altogether from the invitations, so as not to ruffle any feathers or call anyone out as a “non-host”. In my situation, the parent who WAS paying did not mind one little bit and neither did anyone else. 

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