(Closed) Invitation Wording

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Should his parents be named:
    At the top, under my parents : (3 votes)
    19 %
    Under his name : (12 votes)
    75 %
    Not at all : (1 votes)
    6 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    3671 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: March 2011

    My invitations say “Ms. Bride’s Mom and Mr. Bride’s Dad and Mr. Groom’s Dad and Ms. Groom’s Mom request the honor…” if that’s an option (split among three lines).  That way his parents’ names are still after your parents’ names but still at the top.  

     

    ETA: I didn’t see the poll before I replied but I felt this was the best way to go about it in our situation where everyone is contributing something.  

    Post # 4
    Member
    1270 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    mine say:

    Along with our parents, we

    bride and groom

    invite you to blah blah blah.

    my parents paid for 40% of the wedding and his parents paid for honeymoon, so they both contributed equal amounts. we thought listing both sets of names seemeed too wordy and crowded.

    would your parents care if their names weren’t listed?

    Post # 5
    Member
    708 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: January 2011

    If your parents are paying, they should be top billing. I think his parents names should not be on the invite. However, if it is going to be a source on contention with your Fiance, put his parents names under his name. Also remember that if your Fiance parents are throwing the rehearsal dinner, they get to have their names on the invite and your parents are not on there at all.

    Post # 6
    Member
    32 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    While I’m personally a fan of ‘Together with their parents, Bride and Groom blah blah blah’, I think this is an easy give to appease the in-laws.  Although, re-reading, it doesn’t actually sound like they’re upset, just Fiance.  I don’t think you have any wrong options here, etiquette-wise, so I would pick the one that’s going to make life easiest for you.  How strongly does your mom feel about it, vs. how strongly does Fiance feel about it?  At the end of the day, I don’t think most people receiving an invitation make judgements about who paid for what based on the wording…in part because there are so many different ways it is done these days.

    Post # 7
    Member
    4518 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    I vote you stick with the wording as you have it. If your parents are paying for the whole wedding, that means they’re hosting, which means they are inviting the guests (as your invitation says). It’s not a snub to the groom’s parents at all to word it this way; it’s simply an indication of who the hosts are. If his parents are hosting a dinner the night before the wedding, they should word the invitation with their names at the top. 

    Post # 8
    Member
    4137 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    totally agree with stillme! if he really wants his parents’ names on the invite, they should go under his.

    Post # 9
    Member
    489 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2011

    I don’t think you put peoples names on top because they offered to pay.  You put them on top if they are paying.  Which I think is a bit archaic anyway.   His parents are listed, which they don’t actually have to be- I’ve seen lots of invitations where they aren’t.  I don’t think he has any grounds to complain.

    Post # 10
    Member
    7695 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2010

    Ours said

    Together with their parents

    Clare and Noah

    request the pleasure of your company

    at their marriage

    Post # 12
    Member
    241 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Mine says:

    The honor of your presence is requested at the marriage of

    Bride’s Name

    Daughter of X & Y

    and

    Groom’s name

    Son of X & Y

     

    This makes both sets of parents happy.  I just had my parents on there at first and the groom’s parents squaked because they said they were paying for some stuff (didn’t know that) so I added them in.

    Post # 13
    Member
    68 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: January 2011

    Honestly, I don’t think anyone notices too much whether they are at the top, or under his name, as long as they are on there. A lot of people these days, unfortunately, do not know what etiquette rules are or are not being followed when it come to invitation wording, and don’t understand what the placement of their names implies (as far as who paid for what)

    The topic ‘Invitation Wording’ is closed to new replies.

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