Post # 1
I need help please. My FI’s mom passed away two years ago and his dad has since remarried (whole other story). Also, my parents are helping us pay for the wedding; this is the only financial support we are getting. So I planned on wording the invitation as shown below because I’m not comfortable putting FI’s name and then son of Mr & Mrs Fiance’s name because technically he is not the son of the Mrs.
Mr. and Mrs. Bride’s Parents
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
on October 20 2012
I don’t want people to think that we just purposely left FI’s dad off but I don’t know of a better way to word this. So bees, what would you do?
Post # 3
After the line that has Fiance’s name, you could insert on the next line “son of Mr john smith and the late Mrs jane smith”
Post # 4
@bells: Thanks so much for your response! I’m torn on this though. Because I have read in a lot of places that since the parent is deceased they technically cannot invite anyone to anything which would make putting his late mother’s name politically incorrect. Is this correct?
Post # 5
Technically, I don’t think you have to put the groom’s parents on the invite, especially if they aren’t helping out financially. Your wedding invite wording is the very traditional and completley ok.
Have you talked to your Fiance about it? Does he want his mother’s name on the invite? I am also dealing with a deceased parent (FIs dad). Fiance didn’t want his dad’s name on the invite. Plus, weddings are a happy time, so I don’t want any sad feelings when people read my invite. FI’s dad will be remembered in other ways during the wedding.
I did this:
Mr. and Mrs. Brides Parents
Mrs. Grooms Mom
Request the honour of your presense…
*Fi’s mom is helping out financially and isn’t remarried, though.*
Post # 6
Unless your Fiance has specifically requested that you include his parents, your wording is fine. Traditionally only the bride’s parents are listed on the invite
Post # 7
@JessChris1020: I dont know if its politically correct, but I have seen it on a recent invite that i received and I didnt think anything of it. Because it was just a statement of fact that the guy was the son of the late mrs smith. Rather than saying the late mrs smith invites you to…
Post # 8
@JessChris1020: I have read in a lot of places that since the parent is deceased they technically cannot invite anyone to anything ..
Yes, you are correct on that one. However, with the way you are including FI’s parents, it’s not suggesting that they are hosting (as it does with your parents), it’s simply stating who FI’s parents are. My sister did it exactly this way (option #4) and no one noticed/cared.
Post # 9
I’d say either leave the wording as it, or add the “Son of Mr John Smith and the late Mrs…”
The “son of” line is more of a way to acknowledge and honor the groom’s parents, rather than indicate that they are doing any kind of inviting. Your parents are still “requesting” the guests’ presence.
Post # 10
I think your wording is fine. You have to do what makes you comfortable. If you are strictly asking about invite etiquette however, then it is definitely not incorrect from an etiquette perspective to put the late person’s name on the invite as you have simply stated that he is the son of a person who has passed away. It is your parents who are inviting people, not his parents (with the way you have currently worded it). The only way it would be his parents inviting people is if you worded it as ” your parents names and his parents names including the late person’s name, request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their children … your name and your FI’s name”.
Post # 11
If your parents are paying, and your FI’s parents are not, your traditional wording is perfectly fine. The only change I would recommend is the removal of the preposition “on,” as you would simply begin that next part by writing the day of the week and then the date.
Post # 12
@JessChris1020: If you are going for traditional then this is the way to do it. Adding your FI’s fathers name isn’t something I have personally ever seen on an invitation. Then again the invitations I have seen on here are more like birthday party invites, LOL
Post # 13
I was super traditional on my invitations as per my own preference so I think if that’s what you want to do, just blame it on the fact that you are leaning towards being traditional. It’s a highly personal preference, and no matter what we say here, you are going to lean towards what you are comfortable with and what your gut tells you. If his parents are not hosting the event, you do not need to place their names, alive or not. It’s not being crude – there are plenty of sites on the web that will tell you that’s the way you should word it. Furthermore, if your parents are hosting the event, they should receive the RSVPs as well.
*Also, if the ceremony is not in a house of worship, you should change the “honour” to “honor” or that phrase entirely to “pleasure of your company”
Post # 14
The wording is traditional and I think it’s fine
Post # 15
I don’t think you have to put FI’s mother on the invite at all, or even his father for that matter…esp if they aren’t providing financial assistance…
Post # 16
@cmvmph: VERY well said. In the spirit of facebook, I would like to “like” this 🙂