(Closed) Invitation wording

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 4
1361 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Yeah, the “we invite you” is confusing.  I’d go with:

Ann Johnson


John Smith

request…. (or invite or whatever)


Post # 6
3000 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

What about:


Please join us

at the marriage of 

Ann Johnson


John Smith

on the thirtieth of August

two thousand twelve

Post # 8
700 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2004

@mspartridge:  maybe something like

“Your presence is requested at the marriage of…”


“Ann Johnson and John Smith request the honor of your presence at thier marriage…”

I think that sound smuch more formal and nice than “we invite you”.

“Please join Ann Johnson and John Smith…” sounds nice to me too.

Post # 9
1699 posts
Bumble bee

Hello, franxious; welcome to the board.

I quite agree with you that the ambiguous “We” at the beginning of your wording is uncomfortable. In the traditional wording — and I am a great fan of tradition and proper form — the name of the hostess (and optionally if she is married, the host) is stated up front. Even your version of the traditional wording doesn’t have it quite up front enough.

Traditional etiquette recognizes both formal, and informal, forms of invitation. The traditional formal invitation is either hand-written by the hostess, or engraved, using black ink on white or ivory paper. The hostess words a formal invitation in the third person, speaking of herself and her guest as “he”, “she” and “they” as if none of them were present, like this:

Mr and Mrs Hostess
request the pleasure of the company of
Mr and Mrs Guest
at ….

Now, I understand perfectly if you scoff at the notion, but traditional etiquette does not allow a lady to cohabit with any gentleman unless she is married to him: not in a residence and not on a piece of social correspondence. So the traditional form for a wedding party given by the bride rather than her mother and her mother’s husband is:

Miss Fran Xious
requests the pleasure of the company of
Mr and Mrs Guest
at her marriage to
Mr Guy Handsome
on … at … &tc

but although it is technically “improper”, it is far more common to see

Miss Fran Xious and Mr Guy Handsome
request the pleasure of the company of
Mr and Mrs Guest
at their marriage
on … at … &tc

Traditional etiquette also recognizes a particular format for an “informal” invitation. In informal invitations the hostes refers to herself as “I” and to her guests as “we” and writes as if she were talking to them. Guests are referred to by their given names without titles, and the host and hostess extend the invitations under their given names, like this:

Dear Mary and John,

Guy and I hope that you will be able to join us on <date and time> at <place>, for the celebration of our marriage. We will be serving cake and champagne after the ceremony, with dancing afterward.

Love, Fran

Post # 11
20 posts
  • Wedding: October 2004


The topic ‘Invitation wording’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors