(Closed) Invitation wording: and guest?!

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
3315 posts
Sugar bee

Unless the guests name I Guest, then they should be addressed by name.

If you do not have an outer envelope then you will have to write both names on the outer.

Mr. Robert Franklin and Ms. Jessica Peaches

Post # 4
174 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Yes. If you do not know the name of the gues then you would use “and guest”. Otherwise you should address the mailing envelope to both inviduals, or who ever you are inviting.

Post # 5
1692 posts
Bumble bee

@LaurenKK:  Oh, I do wish there were some way to alert all the brides who have NOT yet ordered their “invitation suite”, and convince them to take aaddressing complexities into account BEFORE they order their invitation suite.

Outer envelopes are a business document, a contract if you will, between the sender and the post office. They are not supposed to bear the names of non-residents or minor children, and there are some risks — to the recipients, your guests, to whom you as hostess owe a responsibility of care — of putting extra names onto the outer envelope. Not to mention the risk to you, that the recipient will discard the outer envelope without reading it carefully, and the assume that your carefully-worded adult-only invitation is for the whole family including the dog.

No, you do not need to tenvelopes. They are a “work around” to avoid having a write-in line on the invitation itself. A write-in line works like this: the wording of the formal invitation goes:

Mr and Mrs John Kay
request the pleasure of the company of


to the wedding of their daughter
Lauren Kaye
Mr Future Intended &tc…


That big space in the middle is where you write the actual names of your guest or guests, in impeccable black handwritten script. Then it doesn’t matter that the outer folder is but, wood-grain.

But, I’m guessing that you have already ordered your invitations and the wording is already set, with no write-in line. So the next best solution is that you find out the name and address of the person that Ms Lastname would like to come with, and send him or her their own invitation, in their own name, to their own address.

If that sounds like too much work, then for any families with minor children who might be put at risk by your advertising their first names on the outside of envelopes that might be snooped into by the neighbourhood paedophile, or for any single people who might have jealous exes whose private investigators are regularly checking your friend’s mail for revealing names, at a minimum get a paper band to wrap around your wood-grain folder and write their names on that to protect their privacy.

Post # 7
1736 posts
Bumble bee

View original reply
@LaurenKK:  I didn’t do an inner envelope. I never blink an eye when I receive an invite where the outer envelope is addressed to both guests:

Mr. Stephen Beans & Ms. Molly Tocks
123 Oak Street
Somewhere, FL 01234

or in the event that you do not know if the invited guest has a significant other and want to give them an option (just be sure to track down names of married couples and live-in significant others):

Mr. Stephen Beans & Guest

Post # 8
412 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

View original reply
@MsMindle:  I agree with you.


View original reply
@LaurenKK:  I would not even worry about it. Just address the envelope “Mr. John Doe & Guest” I highly doubt the post office is even going to notice or worry about how it is addressed. I have received many invitations addressed this way.

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