Post # 1
We’re finalising our invitations, and I’m stuck on two details and whether to include them on the ‘information’ insert:
– children: I’m happy to have them there, also not bothered if they’re not there. Many of our friends have kids, some of them newborns, so I understand that especially the new parents will be anxious to be back home with their babies, but also that the presence of the kids might cut their visit short (bedtime, or just exhaustion). Our guestlist is tight at the moment, but I’m anticipating a few ‘nos’, and so we will technically have a lot more room than the guest list currently allows for. We’re sitting at 100 guests tops, including children. I’m tempted to just not mention children, and if the RSVPs come back fewer than anticipated, letting the parents know (or letting them reach out to us to enquire). Or should I state ‘children welcome’ somewhere in the details?
– gifts: guests were SUPER generous at our engagement party – we weren’t expecting gifts at all, but we were given a scary amount of cash. After the generosity from the party, I feel a bit grabby putting one of those tacky ‘wishing well’ poems in the invitation suite. We don’t have a gift registry, as we have a lot of what we need already, and not much space for any more appliances or homewares in our tiny inner-city townhouse. And personally, if my guest would like to buy me something from their heart, I want that, rather than something off a department store list. If they can’t think of something and want to donate, that’s fine too, and we’ll have a little table for cards in the reception hall in case they do want to. Is it considered rude to just leave gift information out and to leave it up to the guest?
Post # 2
Absolutely just leave off gift information. People will figure it out themselves, people who don’t will ask. Gift lists shouldn’t go on invites anyway, but are more acceptable on wedding websites/info cards.
We extended invites to family kids (7 of them) and had a note in the info card for anyone with childcare issues to get in touch. We only had two people ask to bring their kids, and we’ve had a few comments from parents that it was a good balance.
Post # 3
I’m in the boat where all my cousins have kids and if I didn’t invite them none of my family would come and I’m only inviting family. And unfortunately I can’t say yes to some and no to others. I was hoping the cousins that lived out of state wouldn’t come but sounds like my aunt was planning on renting a house. But I’m liking the idea of just putting the adults down and seeing who asks about it. I guess it all depends on your guests are they local do they have to travel to your wedding. Do you know people who would have to bring there kids because they don’t have someone else to look after them? I’m not against kids but I do see how it adds on to costs and the kids meals are still pretty exspensive are venue counts kids 3-9 so that’s something you may want to consider. Depending on the age the kids meal may actually be an adult meal. Unfortunately I think people are quick to judge how much it costs to have a child at the wedding comparing it to wedding prices from few years ago and what they think you can afford. As far as gift information I think now days people post it on their wedding website.
Post # 4
-If you can’t accomodate every child, just invite the parents. As space opens up, you can reach out to people
-No mention of gifts. You’ll get money from 90%!
Post # 5
You never mention gifts on an invitation regardless. So this is a non-issue. Don’t register. Say nothing. Those that want to give you something will – those that don’t won’t. If someone asks, simply say you have everything you need already and appreciate the thought.
As for children, you also say nothing. If you are inviting children, then their names go on invitation just like the adults. If you aren’t inviting children, then don’t put their names. Unless you are hosting an open house style wedding, the “children welcome” makes it sound more like an informal free-for-all where they can decide at the last minute without forewarning you. Either invite them and account for them, or just leave it be. If you leave it be, but someone inquires as to whether it ok to bring them and you are genuinely ok with it then tell them. Or just speak to parents individually instead of putting a blanket statement on everyone’s invitation.
Post # 6
- Wedding: November 2019 - Vineyards
Children: I think you have the right idea, just don’t mention it and hope they leave the kids behind!
Gifts: I’m in the same situation, I’m just going to say nothing and if they want to give something they can, whatever it happens to be