(Closed) Invitation wording disagreement. Thoughts?

posted 4 years ago in Paper
  • poll: Add FI's last name? Or leave the same?
    Add his last name! You can't be too clear! : (7 votes)
    29 %
    Leave it as is - his last name is implied! : (17 votes)
    71 %
  • Post # 3
    1303 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2015

    Traditionally, the groom’s last name is included when his parents are not on the invitation.  I think this clears up any confusion when sending it to his relatives or his parents’ friends who may not recognize your/your parents’ names.


    EDIT: Just saw that his parents are on the invitation.  I think you’re fine leaving off his last name.


    Post # 4
    1053 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2014 - Cedar Lake Cellars

    Our is phrased just as you have it, without his last name attached specifically to his.

    Post # 5
    9556 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I think either is fine!

    Post # 6
    3281 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    Since his parents name is after not before his last name should be included. If the parents’ names were before his then it would be fine to leave it off. 

    Post # 7
    2980 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    Either way is fine.  Normally, if parents are listed including last name, neither the bride’s or grooms’ last name is mentioned.  That said, as a guest, I like seeing the full name of the bride and groom listed.  This is a personal preference, as I pay more attention to the bride and grooms name, and I have to think more if it’s just Firstname Middlename to Firstname Middlename. 

    Either way you decide, keep it the same way with both names.  You can’t have Yourfirstname Yourmiddlename Yourlastname to Hisfirstname Hismiddlename.  You also can’t have Yourfirstname Yourlastname to Hisfirstname Hismiddlename. 

    Post # 8
    9956 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    Etiquette Snob here… lol

    Traditionally… when the Brides Parents appear as the Hosts (as yours do) then the Bride’s Surname is not required… but the Groom’s is.

    Cynthia Ann


    Mr. John Howard Gonzalez, junior

    If BOTH sets of Parents are listed as Co-Hosts (so they’d BOTH be at the top of the Invite BEFORE listing the Bride & Groom)… then the Couple could be listed with their full names (no Titles)

    Cynthia Ann Zimmerman


    John Howard Gonzalez, junior

    Same can be done for the example you’ve given, where it is clear YOUR PARENTS ARE HOSTING and the names of his Parent’s are merely being included as a “courtesy” **

    ** NOW if it is a case where both Families are Co-Hosting… then you need to reorganize the listing of the Parents so that they BOTH appear at the top of the invite such as this:

    Mr. and Mrs. David Zimmerman


    Captain and Mrs. John Gonzalez

    request the honour of your presence

    at the marriage of

    Cynthia Ann Zimmerman


    John Howard Gonzalez, junior


    Hope this helps,

    Post # 9
    140 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    Ours our worded just like yours and we put the groom’s last name even though his parents are listed afterward.  I think it works either way!  We put my last name too so they would be the same and because my parents are divorced so it would avoid any confusion on that part.


    Post # 10
    12629 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    We worded ours just like yours and I don’t think there was any confusion!

    Post # 11
    11760 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Yes, technically his last name should be on there. But, you can do whatever you prefer.

    Post # 13
    1773 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    It’s maybe controversial on the bee, but my FI and I are listing our first names only and aren’t listing our parents’ names at all or our last names anywhere. Surprised  Our first names are unique, everyone we’re inviting has no confusion who we are, and adding either or both of our last names would throw off the visual balance of the invites. 

    Do what works for you, both of your last names are on there.

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