Post # 1
Member
3967 posts
Honey bee
Hi bees,
So many of you have amazing ideas and google has been failing me, so I thought I would put the question to you!
The wedding is semi-formal, rustic, at the barn. My parents are hosting and we want to stick with a Father and Mother invite you to celebrate the marriage of their daughter, LOVE108. HOWEVER, I truly cannot stand that it follows with
“To
Groom’s name” It’s like property being given away (the inner feminist talking here)
My mom dislikes putting “and” between our names (even though I explained to her this is common, and is more traditional in Jewish ceremonies), so she suggested:
Father Love and Mother Love invite you
to celebrate the joining of two families
at the marriage of
Love108
and
Groom Love
Thoughts? I want it to not to be formal but still classy and in keeping with the seriousness that is marriage! Thanks!
Post # 3
Member
7899 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
- Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort
Since you are having a rustic wedding, why not have a rustic inspired invitation that avoids the whole “to”/”and”situation entirely?
You could do one where it says something like:
“Ms. Jane Doe requests the pleasure of your company.”
Then in a pretty and large font, it could say ‘Wedding”
Below that, you could have your names side by side with a line down the center between them.
Then the stantard information below that.
Or just use “and.” It’s pretty common these days even though in most cultures “and” on an invitation indicates that the people joined are already married.
Post # 4
Member
7899 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
- Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort
Also, you aren’t inviting them to the marriage, just the wedding. The marriage is the rest of your lives. The wedding is the event at which your marriage begins.
Post # 5
Member
3967 posts
Honey bee
@mrsSonthebeach: Great idea, but sadly I’m letterpressing these myself (I have access to an old fashioned letterpress studio) and so I can’t do much graphically. And unfortunately my mom is really against the “and.” Thanks though!
Post # 6
Member
594 posts
Busy bee
@love108: I think what you suggested is great, it gives them the honored hosting position, while keeping it 21st century. I am also very annoyed by the wording you mentioned. They aren’t selling me like a cow, I am choosing to marry this man. However, I am having my dad walk me down the aisle, but he won’t be “giving me away” or “presenting this woman for marriage.” That kind of crap makes me nauseous.
Post # 7
Member
3967 posts
Honey bee
@mrsSonthebeach: Eep! I guess you are right… I guess right now it is “invite you to celebrate the marriage of.” I guess that’s still off…
Post # 8
Member
3967 posts
Honey bee
@SarahTee: I’m having both walk me down! I wish we could do “together with their families” but sadly we aren’t getting a lot of support from the other side so I am adamant that my parents names are on that invite!
Post # 9
Member
7899 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
- Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort
Is she against “and” equivilents like the ampersand? If you can’t use “and” and you can’t really change up the traditional set-up much, I don’t think you can avoid the “to.” Either you give in or your mom does. I fail to see how her suggested wording changes the situation and why “and” is okay there.
Post # 10
Member
3967 posts
Honey bee
So I guess we have this option:
Father Love and Mother Love invite you
to celebrate the joining of two families
at the wedding of
Love108
and
Groom Love
But other suggestions right now are welcome!
Post # 11
Member
3967 posts
Honey bee
@mrsSonthebeach: Believe me, I know. To her, “Groom LOVE” is not my daughter, and so when you said, “invite you to celebrate the marriage of their daughter
LOVE 108
AND
Groom LOVE”
She thought it sounded like we were both her children. Which I disagree with, but that fight’s already gone down and there’s not much I can do about it at this point.
Post # 12
Member
7899 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
- Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort
@love108: Take out “their daughter”
Just say to the wedding of YOU and GROOM.
Post # 13
Member
3967 posts
Honey bee
@mrsSonthebeach: Let me try that approach, thank you! You bees are lifesaving!
ETA: You think “invite you to celebrate the marriage of” still works? Because you were right, we’re not inviting them TO the marriage, but the celebration of?
Post # 14
Member
558 posts
Busy bee
I think people read into the word “to” too much. We make the word to out to be a posessive in our mind, when the reality is that its a preposition and implies momvent or joining. The sentence of “so and so want you to celebrate the marriage of THEIR daughter” is actually a true posessive sentence, if you want to get technical. People in their minds create this negative meaing for the word TO when it comes to marriages. Peple assume, oh well in the old days fathers GAVE their daugthers to the men, so the word TO must be viewed as a negative and possessive when its not.
Your mother is sort of right if the invitation said
“Mr & mrs love invite you to celebrate the marriage of their daugther love108 and groom love” then yes, in that instance it would imply that you both are their children. Since THEIR is a possessive, you are their daughter.
If you write “Mr & mrs Love invite you to celerbate the marriage of Love 108 and Groom Love” then you are fine using the word since it is implying a marriage of two people and does not contain a posessive. The way you have it worded does sounds a little weird “celebrate the marraige of two families Love 108 and Groom Love” I think it sounds better to write “Celebrate the marriage of two families at the wedding ceremony of Love108 and Groom Love”
If you look at the definition of the word TO, its actually very sweet and implies more of a joining and I think it fits perfectly for a wedding.
According to the dictionary:
to
preposition tə, tu̇, ˈtü
—used to indicate the place, person, or thing that someone or something moves toward
—used to indicate the place where someone participates in a particular activity
—used to indicate the direction of something
Anywho, i think you are fine using the word TO on the invitation but I also think your seciond option sounds just a good, and IMO you cant go wrong with either one.
Sorry for going all nerd on ya.
Post # 15
Member
3967 posts
Honey bee
@Footballwife: No. I am 100% nerd, I really appreciate this. I have just been looking at this WAY TOO LONG. I didn’t like my mom’s alternative (the joining of two families’ bit). I took our “their daughter” and sent her the wording still using “and.” We will see what she says. Thank you for breaking it down!!
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