(Closed) Invitation wording etiquette if groom and I are paying 99% of the wedding?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: How Should i word it?

    Honor of your presence at the marriage of

    Pleasure of your company at the union of

    pleasure of your company is requested at the marriage of

  • Post # 2
    1244 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2014 - San Francisco, CA

    I’ve seen plenty of invitations that say something along the lines of,


    Tkala and Johnny

    along with their families

    request the pleasure of your company

    at their celebration of matrimony

    June 18, 2015


    Birmingham, AL


    (All specifics made up, obviously.)


    There’s no hard-and-fast rule saying you HAVE to include everyone’s name, or indeed anyone’s name, in the invitation. It’s based on personal preference, not necessarily who is paying (especially since for most weddings in the US today, the couple pays, not the families.) You can always just go with something vague like the above, then spell it all out with as much detail as you wish in the wedding program.

    • This reply was modified 5 years, 11 months ago by  rachel85.
    Post # 3
    2942 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    Just a note, honor indicates a church wedding or religious ceremony. Pleasure of your company, or requests your presence indicates a civil non-religous ceremony. Hope that helps!

    Post # 4
    451 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    View original reply
    tkala:  PPs are correct. I also wanted to add that no one will infer anything about your families’ finances from the wording of the invitation. The host of a party issues the invitation, and hosting does not necessarily imply “paying.”

    Post # 5
    1299 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2015

    Together with their families






    request the pleasure of your company

    at the celebration of their marriage

    Saturday, the first of June<br />

    two thousand and fourteen

    at six o’clock in the evening


    Anyhwere, Any State


    I prefer this format because I find it more visually pleasing when the bride and groom’s names are in larger text and the focal point in the middle. 

    Post # 6
    4145 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    We paid for all of our wedding and used the together with their families wording. 

    Post # 7
    43 posts
    • Wedding: July 2014 - Willow Ridge Manor - Morrison Colorado

    I second the “Together with their families” wording- that is what we wanted to do but my parents threw a fit so we had to put them on it even though we were paying for at least half. 

    Post # 8
    612 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    I was admant that I wanted no mention of our parents on our invites. They said:


    For everything there is a season

    a time and a purpose

    Becuase you have shared in their lives

    through your friendship and love

    we now invite you to share an experience

    a joyous occasion

    The marriage of 







    I feel like if you put the “together with their families” your kind of implying that they helped pay/host as well.. But thats up to you… Nothing is wrong when it comes to this stuff in my opinion. Its all based on what you and your Fiance want!

    • This reply was modified 5 years, 11 months ago by  angelicd77.
    Post # 9
    2268 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2015

    As other PPs have mentioned, “honour of your presence” is used for weddings held in a religious space (church, etc.)

    Because your wedding is taking place outside, “request the pleasure of your company” is appropriate.

    Also, I agree with other PPs about “together with their families.”

    Remember that financial contributions do not determine who is named on an invitation and who is not!

    Post # 10
    260 posts
    Helper bee

    ours will say

    “because they think you are wonderful

    bride & groom

    would like you to celebrate & dance

    as they embark on the adventure of marriage”

    Post # 11
    13033 posts
    Honey Beekeeper

    Hosting honors are nothing to do with the financial end or who is paying for what.  If you want to list the parents’ names, that is fine.  “Together with their families” is also correct.  I like the idea of honoring all the parents by name as that can be interpreted as recognizing them for a lifetime of support, not just a day. Of course, there are situations where “together with their families” is very practical.

    Honor or honour of your presence is usually used when the ceremony is a religious one.  It doesn’t have to be in a church, though. The latter spelling is used frequently on formal invitations, even in the US. 

    I do tend to prefer the traditional, understated wording to anything that implies that the love and  “uniqueness” of one wedding exceeds any another.  

    Post # 12
    360 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2015

    Commenting to follow because this is really helpful!

    Post # 13
    345 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    View original reply
    merpitymerp:  I completely disagree with this.


    I think that based on tradition, people will infer that the “host” is paying.  I’m not sure what else “hosting” an event means if not paying… but regardless, I do think that often has an inpact on the wording.  

    Post # 14
    1059 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2014 - Loft

    View original reply
    tkala:  All of your options are appropriate. We’re paying for our wedding adn ours said ” Your presence is requested at the union of C zelda and J Dell

    Post # 15
    563 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2014

    Ours said ” The honor of your presence is requested at the wedding of Bride to Groom…blah blah etc”. We are getting married at a bed and breakfast. I just like the wording. I would be honored if you all would be there,simple as that. 

    I did not put any mention of either of our parents bc 1. We’re paying ( I have always thought if you’re old enough to get married,you should be financially stable and have a wedding you can afford. But that’s my opinion.) And 2. It sounds old fashioned,like an arranged marriage Lol. I imagine the bride parents pushing her out the door and off to marry a man she’s never met.lol. agaon,that’s me lol

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