(Closed) Invitation Wording for marrying a Doctor – use title?

posted 7 years ago in Paper
Post # 3
Member
1209 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I would definitely put Dr. Groom, but I’d probably leave out mom’s title (as it might look a little odd). However, professionals of that stature work hard to earn those titles, so if it would be offensive to her not to have it then definitely put her title in!

Post # 4
Member
642 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

If the groom uses a personal or professional title, so should the bride.  Or you don’t have to use “doctor” at all.  On most invites, the bride and groom omit professional titles.  I have plenty of lawyer and doctor friends and none of them included that on the invite.  The only thing I’ve ever seen is a professional title for a parent (and only ever for a medical doctor, despite the fact that some of my friend’s lawyer parents hosted their wedding). However, if you decide to use your FI’s, see the second example:

 

Jane Elizabeth Smith

and

Dr. John William Doe

 

vs.

 

Miss Jane Elizabeth Smith

and

Dr. John William Doe

 

 

Post # 5
Member
66 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I have heard of people who are Dr’s who always puts DR ahead of their name, and I think thats fine when its business related or non-personal and any way. On a wedding invite, I would be very careful and think it through before you do bc an invite is very personal. As for your mom being a lawyer, why would that go on the invite or how/why should it affect her name? Im a bit lost here.

Good luck

Post # 6
Member
66 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@indyJEEP: Other people work very hard for their titles as well. This is why people take offense to it. Nobody is going to make it known they are a teacher on their invite and teachers work hard for their title just as lawyers and ppl in other professions. Where do we draw the line of stauts here? The point is 2 people are getting married, and ppls work profession should be omitted.

Post # 7
Member
642 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Okay, i am going comment once more.  To answer the actual question in your thread title, I wouldn’t use any titles.  If you are concerned about using Ms. in front of your mother’s name…don’t.  Just put:

Jane Doe 

and 

John and Mary White

request the honour of your presence

at the marriage of their children….

 

And regarding your mother’s profession, here is what Crane’s Wedding Etiquette says about lawyers on wedding invites:

While some lawyers have adopted “esquire” as a title to designate their status as attorneys, “esquire” is not recognized as a proper title for social invitations in the United States. In England, the title means “gentleman” and is used to honor a man when addressing him. For a man to bestow that designation upon himself is presumptuous and not in good taste.

Post # 8
Member
446 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Personally, I wouldn’t make reference to either title.  I’m an attorney and so is my Fiance but we have never considered using “me, esq” and “him, esq” on our invitation.  I agree that you work hard for the title, but as NorthernLights noted, a wedding is not a celebration of professional accomplishments, it is a celebration of your love.  I apologize for being blunt, and I’m sure that this was not your intent, but I don’t think it’s appropriate and using Dr Groom and Mom, Esq may very well come off as pretentious.

Post # 9
Member
1161 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I am a doctor, and there is NO WAY I would want to use the title on the invitation.  Sure I worked hard for the title, but believe me, I get called doctor all day every day at work (ususally by people who need something from me) so it’s not like I don’t have ample opportunities to use the title.  Not only would I have felt totally silly putting the title there (of course, a large number of my friends are doctors and they would have teased me mercilessly had I used the title), but my wedding is about my relationship, not my job.

Obvioulsy, if your Fiance really wants his title on there, or if your wedding is uber formal and necceistates title use then do it, but then make sure you use titles for everyone.  But really, it’s nice to not have to be a doctor for a day….

Post # 10
Member
1872 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

I have seen:

Mary Jane

to

Mr. John Christopher Doe

for the couple done, so I suppose having “Dr.” isn’t that weird. But honestly, with all due respect to the profession, “Esq.” after a lawyer’s name on an invite is sort of like writing “Ms. Mary Smith, J.D.” or “Ms. Mary Smith, Ph.D.” 

 

Post # 11
Member
2512 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I personally wouldn’t. To be honest, it kind of comes off as stuck up in my eyes. But I guess do what you think would be socially acceptable in your group of friends/family.

Post # 12
Member
7695 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

I wouldnt put either title on the invitation. A wedding is a private affair so you should be able to just use the first names.

Post # 13
Member
659 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

No titiels on invites.  I used titles/military rank on invite addresses, but that’s all.  comes across (to me) as pretentious.  It’s a wedding, not a resume. 

Post # 14
Member
1920 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I don’t think titles belong on invites. Its not a professional event so titles have no place there. I agree with others it seems kind of stuck up like you’re showing off certain titles. Lots of professions have different titles or initials but they don’t include it so I don’t see why a doctor or lawyer would be any different.

Post # 15
Member
1209 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@NorthernLights: Oh no – I’m not saying that other people don’t work as hard for their titles, but there are very few professional titles that one uses when addressing someone (ie: Dr., Col., etc.). It is simply a formality. I should’ve phrased my initial post a little better, sorry. I’m definitely trying to offend anyone! 

Putting a professional title on your invitations could definitely come off as being pretentious, but if you’re inviting someone to your wedding then they should 1.) know you fairly well and whether or not you put the title on there specifically because you’re a pretentious person in general and/or 2.) know that you’re a doctor or whatever and therefore not be surprised or upset by this formality. It is simply a matter of personal preference and how formal you wish your invitations to be. 

Post # 16
Member
5921 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

I agree with no titles on the invitiations.  Personal designations are very hard earned and well deserved, but a wedding really isn’t the place to celebrate that.

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