Post # 1
This may or may not be an unusual situation. My dad has passed and since then my mom has majorly struggled financially. Ever since my fiance and I got serious we talked openly about how my mom would not be able to pay for or, actually, contribute at all to our wedding. He comes from a well-off family and his dad and stepmom are fully paying for a formal, somewhat extravagant rehearsal dinner. Due to his family planning well, my fiance has a couple trust funds in his name and that is how we’re paying for our wedding and honeymoon. It allows us to basically have the wedding we want. But now for the invitations…technically we are the hosts (or if you want to get really technical, my fiance is the host). So going by etiquette and tradition, which we are both big on and we’re having a very traditional church wedding, our invitation should be worded as “Miss CLTbride and Mr. CLTBride request the honour of your presence at their marriage…” That’s how we have it now. Our stationer originally worded it as “together with their families…”
Are we being sticklers by insisting that the invitations don’t say together with their families? I want it to be clear that my fiance and i are the hosts. But sometimes when I think about it, it just seems cold of me to insist on that. Like, who really cares, you know?
What do yall think?
Post # 2
If you want it to be clear that you and your fiance are the hosts, then by all means go with “Miss and Mr request the honour..” That’s the way you’re supposed to do it, given your situation.
I should add that my fiance’s parents are hosting the rehearsal, so I have a separate card included in my invitation that gives them that credit for hosting there. But the main invitation is totally separate.
Post # 3
This is how we are also wording ours. We are the hosts, and I didn’t want to put together with their families if they werent hosting.
eta – Fiance made them, so I wanted to check. ours actually say:
The honor of your presence is requested at the marriage of
reception to follow
eta2 – perhaps this means that no one is hosting? I dunno lol.
Post # 4
moveslikejagr : That’s the same for us too. For the rehearsal, my fiance’s parents are sending out a separate invitation that says something like “Hosted by Mr. and Mrs. fiance’s parents.” I guess since they’re getting the credit for that, the part where I’m feeling bad is my mom is totally left out of everything. But since she’s not paying for/hosting anything…what can you do?
Post # 5
scissorgirl : Actually the first way I wanted it worded was that way! But my fiance thought it sounded robotic, for some reason? I still like it. I like how it’s a little vague about who is hosting. I think he’s pretty firm about our two options being:
request the honour of your presence”
“together with their families
Post # 6
Instead of editing again I’m just going to post another lol.
Formal wedding should be how I did it, casual should be “ms and mr invite you to celebrate their marriage”
See the knot for more:
Post # 7
scissorgirl : That’s really interesting! We are having a more formal wedding…evening reception with sit-down dinner in a fine art museum. It sounds like that’s the way we should do it. I’ll show those links to my fiance! Thanks so much!
Are yall having a formal wedding too? Is that why you picked that variation?
Post # 8
yeah I think either way is good honestly!
So we ARE having a more formal wedding, however we aren’t having the ceremony in a church. So technically our wording is incorrect LOL.
As I said Fiance made them. He just picked the wording he liked best and went with it. I took a look at the proof to make sure everything was spelt correctly dates/times were good, and didn’t really look at the wording. So I’m a bad example XD
Post # 9
cltbride : You could compromise
together with their parents…
This way it is clear that you are hosting your own wedding, but the parents are also welcoming the guests, and your Mom won’t be the only one left out.
Post # 10
We are paying for our wedding/reception and used “together with their families” i think this implies that the couple is hosting however the family is … involved? Maybe it’s just me lol!
Post # 11
This option is a little more wordy than everyone else’s suggestions, but since your wedding is more formal you could phrase it something like this:
daughter of [parent’s names]
son of [parent’s names]
request the honor of your presence at their wedding
That wording would show that the wedding is being hosted by the bride and groom, but is still honoring your parents as well. You could break it up visually by having the bride and groom’s names in a larger font, and then the parents names in a smaller font below. If you wanted to, that’s also way to add your father in as well. You would just phrase it “daughter of Mrs. Jane Smith and the late Mr. John Smith”.