(Closed) Invitation wording – HELP ME

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 5
Member
2227 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

@Soladylike: That’s how we did it aswell because my parents are separated & we’re not in touch with my father but still didn’t want to be rude. “Together with their parents” includes everyone!

Post # 6
Member
2227 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

@kelly105: If that’s not an option it sounds to me like no matter what you choose, someone will be hurt. I think it’s your FI’s decision whether he wants it to be his mother (who’s being a bit unreasonable IMO) or his father.

Post # 7
Member
46404 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Soladylike: ditto!

 

@kelly105:  unfortunately adults don’t always act like adults when it comes to their children’s weddings. You really can’t ignore the fact that she is remarried on the invitation. The easiest way out is what Soladylike suggested  “Together with their parents”.

If you don’t like that you could reverse the order of the parents of the groom

Mr and Mrs Brides Parents

&

Mr. Steven Howard  and Mr and Mrs John Smith

 

or you could do the traditional wording

Mr. and Mrs. Brides parents
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
Melissa Ann
to
William James Russo
son of
Mrs. John Smith
and
Mr. Steven Howard

Post # 9
Member
1750 posts
Buzzing bee

@kelly105: You are an adult, you are paying for the wedding, your dad can’t TELL you what to put on your wedding invitation. Also, understand YOU will be the one in the drama with Fiance mom over her husband’s name not being on the invitation thats why your Fiance is avoiding it. I think you should consider what you want, what would cause less drama and whats most appropiate.

Post # 11
Member
1750 posts
Buzzing bee

@kelly105: Ok I see this is really an issue for you. Lets add a poll and let the bees vote and you go from there. You really have 3 options:

Together with their parents

Mr and Mrs Brides Parents & Mr. Steven Howard and Mr and Mrs John Smith

Mr. and Mrs. Brides parents
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
Melissa Ann
to
William James Russo
son of
Mrs. John Smith
and
Mr. Steven Howard

Post # 12
Member
9056 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

@kelly105: I’m curious whether your parents (or his for that matter) know what their name on the invitation means?  That they are the host (ie, paying for) the wedding. 

You have a few good suggestions above, but it doesn’t sound like they’re being very mature about the whole situation, and at the end of the day, somebody’s going to be annoyed; you just have to pick who. 

If I financed my own entire wedding, I’m not sure I would want to give credit to three sets of parents who contributed nothing monetarily, but good on you for taking the high road.

Good luck!

Post # 13
Member
46404 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@kelly105:  I have to disagree that what you want is appropriate. Not naming the stepdad is appropriate when saying “son of”, but if you are stating that the parents are inviting the guests to the wedding, then they all should be named. Otherwise it will not only cause problems with the Future Mother-In-Law, but the guests may also think that stepdad is not supporting the marriage. I don’t think Future Mother-In-Law is being unreasonable in asking that her husband be included, given that you are including your parents and they are not paying for the wedding.

If you and your Fiance are paying for the wedding , you do have the alternative to leave the parents off the invitation altogether, but then you would have to stand up to your parents.

Post # 14
Member
3461 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Fourth option:

Bride Name, Daughter of Mr. and Mrs. Brides parents

&

Groom Name, Son of Mr. Groom Dad and Mrs. Groom Mom

request the honour of your presenceat their marriage

I skipped this option personally because I think it get a triffle mucky looking, but this does please all involved: Stepmom is legitimately not on, Bride dad name is on, while the hosts (you) are appropriately indicated.  I’ve received an invite this way recently.

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