- 7 years ago
- Wedding: July 2012
I need a bit of help with invitation wording etiquette, please. The situation is this: my FI’s mother and father divorced when he was very young and Fiance stayed with his mother. FI’s father died when Fiance was 16. Fiance didn’t see his father much and vascillates between having an ambivalent and negative attitude toward his father. FI’s mother thinks of her late ex-husband fondly and has said her late ex-husband was the love of her life. My parents separated when I was about 10 and I don’t speak to my father. My mother died when I was 13 and I was thereafter raised by my oldest sister and BIL, who will both walk me down the aisle. Both Future Mother-In-Law and sister & BIL are contributing 1/3 of the budget each. In thinking about invitation wording two possibilities have popped up:
1. Acknowledge those who are hosting the wedding: Future Mother-In-Law, sister, and BIL. I’m unsure how to define the relationships, though. Fiance and Future Mother-In-Law obviously have mother/son relationship but relationship between sister & BIL and myself is a bit harder to define and Fiance says I should write former ward/former guardian on invites (hah). Can anyone suggest wording?
2. Honor deceased parents in invitations: one of my sisters suggested putting my mother’s name in the invitation with a cross next to it. Do people do this? In this case we would write my deceased mother’s name, Future Mother-In-Law, and probably my deceased FIL’s name as well. My Fiance says he’s “not planning on honoring his father” but I know it will hurt Future Mother-In-Law to see my mom recognized and not FMIL’s late ex-husband.
I honestly don’t know which way to go. My mom was a great parent and my sister and BIL stepped up after she died and have supported me emotionally and financially to this day. On a day that’s full of symbolism I want everyone (many guests don’t know our situation) to know that I love and honor them equally. Any advice and examples of specific wording are greatly appreciated. I don’t know if it matters, but Future Mother-In-Law goes by her maiden last name and my sister has her husband’s last name.