(Closed) Invitation Wording – parents names? mom deceased, 3 hosts, etc…

posted 5 years ago in Paper
Post # 2
2597 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

So, I think the wording you have is fine for your situation, although I would check with an online source regarding how couples are listed when one spouse is deceased–Cranes is a good resource and Martha Stewart’s site probably has something on that. 

Technically, the invite shows guests who is hosting (paying for) the event–it’s not the place to “honor” your family members by listing them directly. Since you and your FI’s parents and your father have all contributed, I don’t see a problem in listing you all as “hosts” in the way you have it (although another more etiquette-oriented bee might set me straight!)

The one line that I do think you should think about is “invite you to celebrate.” For one, you’re inviting people to witness your nuptials, not celebrate them (that’s the reception afterwards)–it is, ultimately, a ceremony that you’re inviting guests to first and foremost. Second, if your wedding is in a church, then the proper wording is “honor of your presence is requested” because God does not invite people to “celebrate” with Him and we’re not God’s “company” in His house…I’m not a religious person myself; I’m just explaining why the wording is expected to be different when it comes to weddings in houses of worship. 

Post # 3
9108 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

View original reply
summerbride2016:  Condolences on the loss of your mother. Of course you want to honor her, but the invitation is not an appropriate place for that. Invitations are functional — they serve a purpose. They tell people who is hosting, what, and when. Your situation is a bit complicated since it sounds like everyone has had a hand. In this case, I would phrase it something like,

You are cordially invited

to celebrate the marriage of

Jane Doe

Daughter of Bob Doe and the late Carol Doe


John Smith

Son of Ted and Alice Smith

[rest of the details]

This doesn’t actually pinpoint the hosts, which is ok in your case since it’s a group effort. But it does let everyone know exactly whose wedding it is, which is the main point. You love your mom and she will be there in spirit, but it’s kind of awkward to invite people to “celebrate with” a deceased person. The “daughter of” wording is more accurate and acceptable. Best wishes!

ETA: I just reread and see that you can’t change you and your fiance’s names being first. Can you still add Daughter of and Son of under your names? If not, I would choose a different invitation. Or see if someone else here can come up with something appropriate, because I can’t.

  • This reply was modified 4 years, 7 months ago by  Daisy_Mae.

The topic ‘Invitation Wording – parents names? mom deceased, 3 hosts, etc…’ is closed to new replies.

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