(Closed) Invitation Wording Question

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Invitation wording - Groom's parents not contributing
    Option 1: Include "son of" parents' names : (5 votes)
    56 %
    Option 2: Leave groom's parents' names off the invite : (4 votes)
    44 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    2282 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    The invitation wording is about hosting, and if you’re not paying, you are not hosting. However, “son of” merely identifies him. If his parents were helping, they’d go right after your parents. As you have it in Option 1, the invitation puts your parents as hosts, and his parents as his parents. So it’s the correct one.

    Post # 4
    Member
    1689 posts
    Bumble bee

    Children “do right” by their parents, by becoming competent and honourable adults with independent well-lived lives, and then by using that competence and independence to take care of their parents in old age.

    The reason that old-fashioned invitations didn’t include the groom’s parents names was that, a man should not be getting married until he is functioning in the commuunity as a mature adult, known by his own name for his own achievements. Nowdays we recognize that a lady should not get married until she is an independent person either, but her parents names appear because they are hosting the reception. Invitations are functional social correspondence for telling guests what they need to know — like who their hosts are, not marquees for advertising to stoke someone’s ego.

    That said, some grooms are NOT that well-known in their own name, and if you are inviting family friends or distant relatives who might not recognize the groom’s name without reference to who is parents are, then you add the “son of so-and-so” line. And I can appreciate a son’s having the humility to add that line out of consideration for his parents’ need for attention, even if he IS well-known in the community (which I would hope he would be, by 28!). For the sake of domestic felicity, you might want to let him decide whether his parents will be more offended by the implication of being “left off” the invitation that they might (mistakenly) feel entitled to, or mmore offended by the implication that they raised a son who cannot be recognized without their sponsorship.

     

    Post # 5
    Member
    7908 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

    @ProfessorGirl:  I agree. OP, you would really only be implying that his parents are hosting too if you put their name at the top of the invitation with the bride’s parents. Whether the include his parents’ names is a choice for the two of you to make, but listing them under “son of” does not imply anything about monetary contribution. I will say that there is a serious benefit to including the names of the groom’s parents. Friends or theirs you may be inviting may not immediately recognize who the groom is unless they are reminded that John Smith is the son of their good friends Aileen and George Smith. If his last name is very unique, this may not be an issue.

    Post # 7
    Member
    289 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    I like Option 1, I may even go with it myself. I don’t want to bring attention to the fact that FI’s parents aren’t helping (I have a different situation though – they would if they could, but they can’t) so I’d like to include them on the invitation. That wording makes it clear who’s hosting while still including and ID’ing his parents.

    The topic ‘Invitation Wording Question’ is closed to new replies.

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