Post # 1
Member
33 posts
Newbee
I’m having a hard time figuring out what wording to use on our wedding invitations. My parents have been divorced 13 years and my dad has been remarried for 5 ( and in that same relationship for nearly 10). My mom is a) unhappy about my dad’s remarriage and b) unhappy that she is still single. My parents are splitting the wedding.
I know my mom will be hurt if I include my dad’s new wife’s name on the invitation, and I know my dad will be hurt if I don’t. I don’t think that “together with their families” wording is fair either, because neither Fiance and I nor his family are paying for any part of the wedding. I want my parents to get proper credit for hosting but it feels like no matter what I do here is someone is going to be hurt or angry.
Also, my mom kept her married name, so my mom, dad, and dad’s new wife all share the same last name.
Any wording alternatives that I could use to eliminate this problem?
Thanks bees.
Post # 2
Member
240 posts
Helper bee
My parents are divorced and are paying for the wedding together. They have the same last name still. I listed it as: “Mr. Firstname Doe and Ms. Firstname Doe Request the Honor…” I don’t see why you can’t add your step-mother, like “Mr. and Mrs. Firstname Doe and Ms. Firstname Doe…” (if your mom has the name last name). Whoever is hosting (paying) should be listed.
Post # 3
Member
10 posts
Newbee
Off the top of my head, could you possibly say something like “The Smith Family”? Or, like PP said, Mr. and Ms. Smith.
Post # 4
Member
7866 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
Mr. and Mrs. Harold Jones
and
Mrs. Mary Jones (or Ms.)
request the honor of your presence…
Post # 5
Member
7638 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
mauibee : Your mother may not like it, but she can’t go on denying your father’s remarriage forever. Especially since – assuming the timeline you give is correct – your father did not leave her for his new wife. If your father’s wife is contributing, I think she should be listed. And it sounds like this at least effectively the case, assuming your father and his wife have shared finances.
But since your mother is paying 1/2 (and your father and his wife effectively each paying 1/4), she should be listed first. I’d do something like:
“Ms. Anne Smith, and Mr. and Mrs. John and Rachel Smith, cordially invite…”
Post # 6
Member
31 posts
Newbee
How about something simple? “Together, with their families”
Post # 7
Member
993 posts
Busy bee
My parents are divorced and my father has remarried – I used “Together with their parents.” Together with their families could work in your case since your step mother is family.
Post # 8
Member
993 posts
Busy bee
Just re-read, together with their families won’t work for you.
There’s no option that’s going to please all parties involved, so you’ll have to make an executive decision. Some feelings will be hurt, but hopefully people will get over it. Personally, I would prioritize my mother’s feelings over my father and step mothers. This is what works for me and my life though.