(Closed) Invitation/guest list rant!

posted 4 years ago in Guests
Post # 2
36 posts

This sounds awful. How horrible for you to feel obligated to have so many people involved in something so intimate. I can’t imagine if who I invited was up to ANYONE else but myself and my Fiance. Just say no. Tell them there is a strict max. Too bad. They’ll get over it. However I think it would be nice if you let them come if there ends up being room but by NO means do you have to feel obligated to do that. 

Post # 3
331 posts
Helper bee

Have a private conversation with your dad and firmly put your foot down. Tell him there are no exceptions and he will just have to get over it. I honestly don’t understand people sometimes..I’m sorry you have to go through this :/

Post # 5
47277 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

DoubleA903:  What is the status of these SO’s?  Dating? living together? engaged? married?

Usually if people are talking about plus ones for people who are just dating, they don’t refer to them as their SO’s.

Post # 6
73 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

DoubleA903:  It’s your wedding so you’re definitely in control of your guest list (unless your parents are financially helping out). Lol, so far, neither my parents or my fiance’s parents are planning on inviting people we hardly know. If they do, I certainly will not be doing so. I want everyone who’ll attend our wedding to be people we know and actually like. 

Post # 8
101 posts
Blushing bee

Ugh I hear you. My mom is insisting that I give all of my cousins plus ones even if they aren’t dating anyone. I haven’t talked to or seen my cousins in 15+ years. I am only inviting them to appease my mom and my aunts/uncles. Two of the cousins were married and are now divorced. They did not invite me to their weddings,  although my mom insists they did via the “family” invite. Yeah, I haven’t lived at home for 12 years.  I refuse to give my cousins random dates when they literally are going to know more people at the wedding than any other guest. 

Post # 10
4037 posts
Honey bee

We didn’t invite distant relatives. Our rule is that if we didn’t have their address (or had to ask for it), they weren’t close enough to invite. Good luck!

Post # 12
769 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: Saint Domingue

Wait, so your friends outside your wedding party aren’t coming to your wedding?  Oh, my goodness!  Is there any way to get in a time machine and start this whole process all over again?  

Sorry, I know this isn’t the most helpful of responses, but this just seems so very wrong. 

Post # 15
3961 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

Definitely stick to your guns! One of our rules was that cousins would only have dates invited if they are married or engaged at the time we send out invites. I have 30 first cousins, many of whom are teenagers, so having them bring randos was not going to happen. Like PP mentioned, I would put your foot down with your father. I wouldn’t even tell him that they could invite SOs if you get enough declines, I would just stick to the generic “we do not have the space to invite additional guests” and repeat every time he asks.

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