(Closed) Invitations?

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
3267 posts
Sugar bee

@jb20:  I don’t understand what would be different?  For a family only wedding, it’s still a wedding, you just send them only to family members who are invited.

Invitations still should match the formality, and tone of the wedding.

Post # 5
3267 posts
Sugar bee

@jb20:  It is the most formal to personally address a letter to each person.  But in modern times, a pre-printed invitation has become most accepted. 

Send whatever you like, that suits your wedding.

Post # 6
3276 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@jb20:  I have never heard of hand writing a letter. Just send a normal invitation. 

Post # 7
1696 posts
Bumble bee

@MrsN14:  It is amazing the things we learn on the internet, isn’t it. It truly Widens our perspective World-wide — not just to things that are considered “standard” in the wider world, but also to local customs that are considered standard within their locality.

In fact,  andielovesj is quite right. According to standard etiquette, hand-written correspondence is more gracious than mass-printed correspondence, because it shows more personal attention is being paid to the recipient. Hand-written invitations are the most proper and most gracious, whether the party is formal or informal. According to traditional etiquette, the only printing that can properly replace hand-writing is copperplate engraving (the kind of printing that bumps up on the front printed side, and has a little indentation to match on the unprinted back.) Modern etiquette accepts that, since very few artisans remain who are capable of producing engraving, other forms of mass-printing are tolerable (off-set press, letterpress, home ink-jet printers, even laser printers,) but hand-writing is still the most proper and gracious.

A hand-written note of invitation for an informal party reads like a naturally-written note:

Dear Aunty Mary and Uncle George,
George and I will be married at First Baptist Church on Saturday the tenth of May, at two o’clock, and will be having a tea afterward at Mum’s house. We hope you will be able to come.
Love, JB

A formal note of invitation uses stilted third-person formal language and is written in black ink on white or ecru paper. Formality, being formal, is intolerant of compromise. Each little variation you choose to make (or cannot manage) reduces the formality of your affair just a little. Most of the time that is a good thing: formality is not a black-and-white either-or, but a continuum where most people have a broad but not all-inclusive comfort zone. Yyou can have an event that is still enough more formal than your every-day life to feel very very special, without it being so stuffily rigid as to feel rather silly. But if you do want to be absolutely 100% formal, you have to conform. A formal invitation reads:

Miss Jay Bee
requests the pleasure of the company of
Mr and Mrs Windsor
at her wedding to
Mr Talland Handsome
on Saturday the tenth of May
at two o’clock
at the Fairmont Hotel Crystal Ballroom
and afterward for tea


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