- 6 years ago
- Wedding: March 2013
I’m a bit confused on what seems to be the addressing of invitations and +1s on RSVP cards. I thought I got it, but after reading posts here and reading etiquette books, I’ve seen so many options and read about so many taboos that I’m getting conflicting information, resulting in confusion!
I’m interested to see what others did.
Let’s say I’m mailing an invitation to my friend Mary Smith. She lives alone, but has a boyfriend of three years, who is Michael Jones, who has his own place.
I’m not direct friends with Michael. I met him through Mary and Mary is who I’m inviting. Mary is getting the STD. Michael won’t be.
Now, I was under the impression that I would address the invite to Mary and give her a +1. But, some sources say to include him on the invitation envelope. Some sources say don’t – only on the RSVP card. Other say, no, only list Mary and just say there are 2 seats reserved and mark how many will be attending. Then, others, adding onto that, said leave a space to write down the names of the two (or one) attending.
Yeesh, I hope all of this makes sense.
Anyway, I was going to invite Mary, give the +1, mark down how many seats are reserved for her, and have her write down the names of those attending. End of story. But, now I’m not sure! Plus, for some friends (and family), we don’t know full names or surnames of SOs, and I think it’s quite awkward to call them up and ask and then address the invites or RSVPs with the SOs name.
Any invitations I’ve received went with the method I was planning on. I understood that the +1 was for my SO and I never thought to bring someone other than him. So, when I read about how giving a +1 to somone opens it for them to bring anyone, if this person is in a relationship, I’d assume it was understood that it was for their SO.
What did you all do?