(Closed) invitations – can you write “and family” on the envelope?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Hostess
18643 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

According to etiquette, anyone over 18 should get their own invitiation even if they are living at home (we gave all those people plus 1s to our wedding too).  Are any of these older kids in serious relationships?  They might not appreciate their SO not being included in the invitation list.

Post # 4
Member
3762 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I know its hard but once a kid is over 18, I think there is a lot of confusion if they are intended to be included in the “and family”.  I know when I was in college it was a big confusion often. 

Are you doing inner and outer envelopes?  If so, maybe you can just write out all the names on the inner envelope so its very clear.

I agree it is very costly and wasteful to send 2+ invites to the same family.

Post # 5
Member
9056 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

I sent some families invites for “chidren” over 18 an invitation that was included in their parents, and even included a date for the one that has a serious girlfriend.  I just wrote everybody’s name on the evelope.  I highly doubted that my 18 year old male cousin was going to care that he didn’t get his own.

Mr. and Mrs. Smith

John, Peter and Jack and Jane

I wasn’t about to send 4 invitations to the same house.

Post # 6
Member
316 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I put “and family” on some of my invitations for kids over 18 living at home. It is not correct etiquette wise but I don’t think it really matter unless you are doing a very formal wedding. 

Post # 7
Member
2681 posts
Sugar bee

Each person over the age of 18 that still lives at home should get their own invitations.  Technically I think you are supposed to list out each person, but I put “and Family” on many of our invites that had just too many kids!

Post # 9
Member
1023 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Etiquette to me is a guideline that can be strayed from. I’m not going to follow them all because some are just plain silly and probably known only by other brides reading the same guide.

I too think its a waste to send that many invites to one household. Make it clear everyone’s included and I think you’re good.

Post # 10
Member
3344 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I’m having a hard time with this too…. All the advice I’ve found is for people using inner and outer envelopes.  We’re only doing one envelope since we have pocketfolds.

Post # 11
Member
5263 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2012

I also think it depends on if the 18+ children actually live in the house or not. I mean, I stay with my parents a couple weeks out of the year, but I have my own apartment that I live in the rest of the time. Yet I still have people who send mail to my parents in my name. I guess they don’t know my new address? Odd since my parents moved since I did! And irritating since then I don’t get it for awhile unless my parents mail it to me. 

If they really are living with their parents, or are in a dorm when at school, then I would address it “and family” but word your reply cards ______ out of 4 guests will attend.” or such so that there’s no confusion as to who is invited. 

Post # 12
Member
9056 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

My mom and dad got an invitation like this to a friend of my younger sister’s wedding.  It just said “Smith Family”, so my mom called and asked if I wanted to go, since she wasn’t sure if I knew the guy or not as well (small town).  I do know him, but not well enough to assume he meant to invite me as well as my parents and sister.

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