Post # 1
Member
7 posts
Newbee
Bees, I’m devastated: my invitations are delayed. I had beautiful custom suites designed and agreed to a timeline for the whole thing in advance. The problem is, as we crept closer and closer to the end of the timeline, I was growing a little concerned but assumed that my designer would alert me if we were off schedule… and I figured she had means of moving things along faster with the printer as another professional. For her part, I think she assumed I’d own the timeline and that I had pushed that timeline back.
So now Monday makes exactly 8 weeks until my wedding date and I probably won’t get my invitations for another two weeks. I am a stickler for the rules… I’ve been reading Emily Post since I was in middle school. It really devestates me that people will get my invitation after the 8 week mark and say, “She dripped the ball.”
I sent Save the Dates about 6 months in advance (only a month and a half after we got engaged) that had date and city and wedding website but I have had people tell me they didn’t notice the wedding website so they don’t know details. So… should I send an apology letter before the invitation makes it out? I thought I could have same-day cards printed saying something cute like, “love is worth the wait, so are memorable invitations: our invitations are delayed. Please visit our wedding website for important details until your invitation arrives”
Post # 2
Member
1686 posts
Bumble bee
- Wedding: May 2019 - City, State
I don’t think it’s that big of a deal, the VIPs likely already know the date anyway. Most people probably aren’t counting the weeks until your wedding, so I doubt anyone will even know they’re “late.” They would however realize they’re late if you sent out a notice that they’re late. If anyone comes to you with questions about it, tell them then and direct them to your website. Otherwise just send them out as soon as you get them.
If it makes you feel any better my wedding is May 18th and I haven’t even ordered my invites yet 😂
Post # 3
Member
690 posts
Busy bee
I really wouldn’t worry about it Bee. Everyone knows the date already, and probably already know most of the details!
no one else cares about your invitations as much as you..! People were telling me not even to bother sending them one because they knew the deets already! (But I did).
6 weeks is fine, to be honest that’s what I thought it wa s anyway!! No one will bat an eye..
DEFINITELY no need to send an apology (what?!) that’s just whooly unnecessary Bee.. Not many people are as stickler for etiquette as you..
Post # 4
Member
5468 posts
Bee Keeper
I seriously don’t think anyone will think that. I really wouldn’t send an apology letter, that is so dramatic. Guests have already received a save the date so they have been aware the event was coming up, it’s not as though this is the first time they are hearing about your wedding.
Post # 5
Member
9210 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
erin89leigh : I think you need to be a bit more assertive with the vendor to be honest. You had an agreement and they are not keeping up their end of the agreement. It is not up to you to time manage your invitation vendor so stop thinking that.
Do you have the original timeline in writing?
Post # 6
Member
7 posts
Newbee
j_jaye : I normally would but there’s a personal relationship involved and I do think at least part of it is on me for not asking if we were on time as we got closer… I shouldn’t have assumed 🙁
Post # 7
Member
7 posts
Newbee
Bees, this is all good advice (and reassurance). Thank you! I hadn’t considered the angle that the apology/pre-invitation would call more attention to the issue but of course that makes total sense.
I know that it matters more to me than to most of my guests… it’s hard to explain but the etiquette thing is more than a rule of thumb for me, it’s something I really get enjoyment from (I know, I’m a weirdo). It’s satisfying for me to go through my Post Institute wedding guide and checking off every protocol. So I know I sound crazy being upset by being a week or two off, it just saddens me even when I know probably hardly anyone else notices.
Post # 8
Member
7627 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
Emily Post says 6-10 weeks in the stuff I read when we got married. She focused more on giving people at least 4 weeks to RSVP. Either way, since you sent out a save the date, people should have already put the date aside.
I also agree that you should be pushing back on the vendor. It is not on YOU to make sure someone else that you hired sticks to their timeline, that’s not how it works in the business world.
ETA: I see from your update that it’s a personal relationship? Does she have a business mKing invites? If she does, I don’t think it matters if you have a personal relationship to be honest. Have you asked her about the possibility of getting them to you quicker? Can the printer do a rush order?