(Closed) Invitations for 2 receptions?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
1871 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

…I would be confused if they were both issued by the same party and had the same tone and formality. What I mean is, if I got an engraved invitation to a nighttime wedding and then a more informal one for like, a backyard BBQ that clearly was from someone else in the family who just wanted to throw a party, then I wouldn’t be confused or offended or think it was gift-grabby (or maybe that’s just me? I’d certainly only be purchasing one gift, LOL!). If it’s your FI’s family, then they can also do a preliminary “head’s up” to their friends and family just informally. When we announced our wedding, my father called all of his siblings (we have a lot) just to tell them when it was and, knowing a lot of them are a bit cash-strapped to be travelling xcountry (with kids) to reassure them that we would love to see them there, we didn’t want them to jump through financial hoops to do it. 

If you are worried about the gift-grabby thing, then just don’t include any information about the registries and leave it up to word of mouth. That way, it will totally be at your guest’s discretion (and trust me, they WILL want to give you a gift!)

Post # 4
447 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I don’t think it’s weird for them to get invites for both – if you got two invites, would you think you had to send two gifts?  I don’t think that’s implied at all.  Don’t worry about it!

Post # 5
1326 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Tre Bella, Mesa, AZ

My friend did a second reception in the state they lived in (had their wedding ceremony/big reception in the state they were from). They didn’t invite people to both, from what I understand (ceremony was majority family). The second reception was word of mouth and e-invites. Although it was really nice, I thought it was a bit weird, and considering I was a close friend of both, I felt a little left out of the ceremony (I would have flown to the other one).

Honestly, having been an invitee of a second reception, I’m not sure how you would handle it without it being weird. I guess word of mouth is probably best. I agree with @JennyW1 that having 2 receptions listed in the invite is confusing.

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