(Closed) Invitations per household, RSVP per guest

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
260 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I say all on one invite unless they have a plus one.. that’s what I did anyway 🙂

Post # 4
47448 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@NYMeetsPA:  You said “this might get slammed”. To me that indicates you know that what you are propsing is not suggested etiquette.

You can choose to do the correct thing,or not.

Post # 5
171 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I sent out a few to The X Family if there were not other guests attached. I sent out individual ones to the adult kids if they were getting plus ones (even if the same household). No one seems to mind as far as I could tell.

Post # 7
561 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I’m inviting my aunt and uncle and 2 cousins who are 18 and 20 and live at home.  they aren’t getting plus ones and I know they wouldn’t want to rsvp themselves.  Their mother will both be paying for their hotel and transportation, as I already know.

I’m not really worried about giving them their own invitation to follow some dumb rule that was invented before it was common for 18+ kids (particularly those in college) to be financially dependant on parents.  Plus I love them to death but the kids aren’t going to RSVP themselves, so they aren’t even getting a separate RSVP card. 

Post # 9
10450 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

I think it’s so stupid to send multiple invitations to one address, no matter who lives there. I wouldn’t. 

Post # 10
7638 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@NYMeetsPA:  Couples get one invitation. Adult children at the same address should get their own.

You say “it doesn’t make sense” to send several to the same address. My response is that for a very small cost (a couple of extra invitations), you are treating the adults as adults, instead of extensions of their parents. 

That said, there is a big difference between an 18 year old and a 25 year old living at home, and a lot depends on their actual ages and how independent they are. An 18 year old undergraduate who still lives with their parents isn’t too different from a 17 year old high schooler, and you can probably get away with including them on the family invitation. But a 25 year old worker is more independent and should get their own invitation.

Post # 11
784 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

View original reply
@NYMeetsPA:  Etiquette is to make your guests comfortable.  You know your guests best.  I’m sending one invitation to each family group at the same residence, and separate invitations to unrelated guests at the same house (ie roommates).  It might give etiquette snobs the vapors, but honestly, it’s actually something that makes things easier for my guests. 

In fact, I’m even sending invitations to college students who are dependent on their parents to their parents houses, not the dorms.  I know, get out the smelling salts! Because, having gone to college, I know 75% of the mail lingers in the mail room until it gets returned or lost.  I don’t anticipate any problems with my plan other than shocking and appalling the internet.

Post # 12
1210 posts
Bumble bee

@NYMeetsPA:  We used the rule that college students living with parents share the invite. All others living at home got their own. I decided on this rule after I sent my brother a birthday card with a check and followed up with him when it wasn’t cashed (a month later). Turns out, he hadn’t checked the mail. Haha.

Post # 13
4192 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

I sent three invites to my brother’s house- one for him and my SIL, and one each for my nephews, who were 18 and 20 at the time. 

Can you “get away” with one invite? Yes. But I know that the boys each liked getting their own- like aussiemum1248 stated, I was treating them like adults.

Are you really going to be saving that much in postage/invites? How many families have three adults kids living at home? If you’re looking at an extra $20, for example, not a big deal to send everyone their own invite.

Post # 14
11517 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

@NYMeetsPA:  I sent one per person over 18 in a house, which was a bit of a pain BUT I did it that way partly because I wanted my cousins to feel special.  It only cost me about $3 per person total so I wasn’t that worried about it.  

Post # 15
766 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

It depends on the guest. A couple of FI’s cousins seem to have ever-changing addresses…they don’t live with their parents, but we wouldn’t be able to nail down an address to send their invite to, and lord knows they wouldn’t have arranged to have their mail forwarded. He even has one cousin who still has his mail sent to his grandmother’s house. Ridiculous. He’s getting a separate invite sent to the same address in case he comes to pick it up, but for the other ones, we’re just putting them together on one invite. My cousin sent one invite to my parents’ house when she got married and neither my sister or I lived at home at the time. I also have one cousin who spends half his year in Florida and half his year at home and he’s getting put on his parents’ invitation. It just depends on your guests. Mine don’t care, but yours might.

Post # 17
1475 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

It is only 6 extra invitations, not a big deal, just send them all their own.

I sent all adults separate invitations, even if they were in college or living with their parents.


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