Post # 1
This might get slammed here but I wonder if this okay.
To save up money on invites, should invitations be per household (all those invited listed on the inner envelope) and then if there are guests over 18 living with parents get their own RSVP card if they have a +1. I understand if they are roommates living in the same household but what about families with adult kids. It wouldn’t make sense to send 5-6 invitations to the same address. Our guests are not very sticky when it comes to etiquette.
Post # 3
I say all on one invite unless they have a plus one.. that’s what I did anyway 🙂
Post # 4
@NYMeetsPA: You said “this might get slammed”. To me that indicates you know that what you are propsing is not suggested etiquette.
You can choose to do the correct thing,or not.
Post # 5
I sent out a few to The X Family if there were not other guests attached. I sent out individual ones to the adult kids if they were getting plus ones (even if the same household). No one seems to mind as far as I could tell.
Post # 6
Asked that on The Knot. Got slammed. So I came here.
Post # 7
I’m inviting my aunt and uncle and 2 cousins who are 18 and 20 and live at home. they aren’t getting plus ones and I know they wouldn’t want to rsvp themselves. Their mother will both be paying for their hotel and transportation, as I already know.
I’m not really worried about giving them their own invitation to follow some dumb rule that was invented before it was common for 18+ kids (particularly those in college) to be financially dependant on parents. Plus I love them to death but the kids aren’t going to RSVP themselves, so they aren’t even getting a separate RSVP card.
Post # 9
I think it’s so stupid to send multiple invitations to one address, no matter who lives there. I wouldn’t.
Post # 10
@NYMeetsPA: Couples get one invitation. Adult children at the same address should get their own.
You say “it doesn’t make sense” to send several to the same address. My response is that for a very small cost (a couple of extra invitations), you are treating the adults as adults, instead of extensions of their parents.
That said, there is a big difference between an 18 year old and a 25 year old living at home, and a lot depends on their actual ages and how independent they are. An 18 year old undergraduate who still lives with their parents isn’t too different from a 17 year old high schooler, and you can probably get away with including them on the family invitation. But a 25 year old worker is more independent and should get their own invitation.
Post # 11
Etiquette is to make your guests comfortable. You know your guests best. I’m sending one invitation to each family group at the same residence, and separate invitations to unrelated guests at the same house (ie roommates). It might give etiquette snobs the vapors, but honestly, it’s actually something that makes things easier for my guests.
In fact, I’m even sending invitations to college students who are dependent on their parents to their parents houses, not the dorms. I know, get out the smelling salts! Because, having gone to college, I know 75% of the mail lingers in the mail room until it gets returned or lost. I don’t anticipate any problems with my plan other than shocking and appalling the internet.
Post # 12
@NYMeetsPA: We used the rule that college students living with parents share the invite. All others living at home got their own. I decided on this rule after I sent my brother a birthday card with a check and followed up with him when it wasn’t cashed (a month later). Turns out, he hadn’t checked the mail. Haha.
Post # 13
- Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry
I sent three invites to my brother’s house- one for him and my SIL, and one each for my nephews, who were 18 and 20 at the time.
Can you “get away” with one invite? Yes. But I know that the boys each liked getting their own- like aussiemum1248 stated, I was treating them like adults.
Are you really going to be saving that much in postage/invites? How many families have three adults kids living at home? If you’re looking at an extra $20, for example, not a big deal to send everyone their own invite.
Post # 14
@NYMeetsPA: I sent one per person over 18 in a house, which was a bit of a pain BUT I did it that way partly because I wanted my cousins to feel special. It only cost me about $3 per person total so I wasn’t that worried about it.
Post # 15
It depends on the guest. A couple of FI’s cousins seem to have ever-changing addresses…they don’t live with their parents, but we wouldn’t be able to nail down an address to send their invite to, and lord knows they wouldn’t have arranged to have their mail forwarded. He even has one cousin who still has his mail sent to his grandmother’s house. Ridiculous. He’s getting a separate invite sent to the same address in case he comes to pick it up, but for the other ones, we’re just putting them together on one invite. My cousin sent one invite to my parents’ house when she got married and neither my sister or I lived at home at the time. I also have one cousin who spends half his year in Florida and half his year at home and he’s getting put on his parents’ invitation. It just depends on your guests. Mine don’t care, but yours might.
Post # 16
Thanks for replying. Here’s some of our invitiation issues:
- two adult cousins living under the same roof (separate invites because I know my male cousin will bring his partner)
- FI’s cousin who is over 30 living with his parents (FI feels he should be added into his aunt and uncle’s address. This one is a little tricky.)
- one of my bridesmaids spend half the year in Florida and the other in PA (she gets a separate one as she’s a member of the bridal party, however she said just add it to her parents’ invite.)
- my nephew attends college in Kentucky but is under 21 (he’s added to my sister and her family’s invitation)
- best man and his family lives in the same house as his parents (FI said all in 1 invite, I said maybe separate becausse it’s two families living under 1 roof)
- my grandmother and aunt live under the same roof (put them together however my aunt is known to be an etiquette nazi. She puts Emily Post to shame. Another tricky one.)
Most of them won’t care if we’re adding them together under 1 invite but someone like my aunt wants everything Miss Manners and Emily Post dictates.
Post # 17
It is only 6 extra invitations, not a big deal, just send them all their own.
I sent all adults separate invitations, even if they were in college or living with their parents.