(Closed) Invitations + Step Parents = mess

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
2651 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

Could you leave off the names entirely? So that it just reads “together with their parents “? 

Post # 4
Member
1068 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

I don’t understand why people put their parents’ names on invitations at all, frankly. We’re not children anymore. Doesn’t that tradition stem from times when people got married at 15, and lived with their parents up until the point they got married? I have divorced parents and crazy step situations. I wouldn’t even want to begin to deal with that. You have every right to send the invitation just from you and your FI, and not mention the parents at all.

Post # 5
Member
7908 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

“and” on an invitation means “who is married to” so by putting Mrs. Mother of the bride & Mr. Father of the bride, you implied that your mom and dad are married. What you need to do (and your mom is right) is:

  • Mr. and Mrs. Mom and Step-Dad
  • Mr. Your Dad
  • Mrs./Ms. His Mom (and spouse?)
  • Mr. His Dad

Each social unit goes on its own line.

 

Post # 6
Member
9145 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

Just use “Together with their parents” only.  No names.  I had the same issue since my parents and my ex-H’s parents were both divorced and remarried to other people.  Nobody complained about the general line even though my dad paid for a majority of the wedding.

Post # 8
Member
1243 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

@mrsSonthebeach:  Agree.

If this won’t work, go with the “Together with their parents” option.

Honestly, in this case I would explain to your inlaws that your step-father helped raise you and was a father figure.  You have no desire to insult him by leaving him off the invitation.  If they have an issue with that, say that you’re going to be using the “together with their parents” option.

 @Tangled:  I believe that the “tradition” is really about who is hosting (paying) for the wedding.  If your parents are paying or contributing, then they are the hosts.  Thus, they are the ones doing the actual inviting.  If the bride and groom are hosting (paying), then their names would be on the invites alone.  You may still see “daughter of” and “son of” after the B&G’s names because they wish to honour their parents with their names on the invite, but still want to make it clear who is hosting.

Post # 9
Member
7908 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

@Petite_Fraise:  If you put, say Mrs./Ms. Annemarie Robert and Mr. Dennis David, that would mean that they are married but the woman didn’t change her name. Where you have chosen to put the parents on the invitation indicates that you are including their names to help identify yourselves to guests, not that those people are hosing, so you should include all the parents, regardless of how close you are to them (unless they’ve been ostracized from the family or something of course). Bride’s family comes first, and women and listed before men.

Post # 10
Member
1307 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

My FI and I are oaying for the entire wedding so we did not even include the “families” part.

If you parents are contributing,  Iagree with PP who said to just say “along with their families” and leave out the names altogether. You can always add the names on the programs so people will recognize who is who…

Mother of the Bride:   “Mrs. Smith escorted by her husband, Mr. Smith”

Mother of the Groom: “Mrs. Doe escorted by her husband, Mr. Doe”

Father of the Groom: “Mr. Jones”

Bride Escorted by her Father: “Mr. Peters”

 

 

 

Post # 12
Member
48 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: February 2010

I have a step dad as well… and my hubby’s parent’s are divorced.. for our invitations we just put our names and then it said, “together with their parents” we left off all the extra names so that no ones feelings would be hurt! 🙂

Post # 13
Member
48 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: February 2010

@ArwenBride:  yep… that’s right, the parent’s names go on there due to that they are usually the ones paying for it.. but now a days that’s not always the case! 🙂

Post # 14
Member
48 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: February 2010

@LovelyLaura:  that’s a really good idea, I believe that’s what my friend did for her wedding! 🙂

Post # 15
Member
9956 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

According to Peggy Post and her book *Wedding Etiquette*

When both the Bride & Groom’s Parents have been divorced and have remarried, but all are participating in giving the Wedding and Hosting the Reception, it is not unusual for ALL the names to appear on the invitation.  In this instance the Bride’s Mother and her Husband would appear first, the Bride’s Father and his Wife second, then the Groom’s Mother & her Husband, and lastly the Groom’s Father and his Wife.

Example…

Mr. and Ms. Michael Hannigan

Mr. and Mrs. Lawrence Anvik

Dr. and Mrs. Russell Healy

Mr. and Mrs. Jeffrey Jacobs

request the honour of your presence

at the marriage of

Lindsay Catherine Anvik

to

Andrew Lloyd Jacobs

etc

Hope this helps,

 

Post # 16
Member
5985 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

I did together with their parents only because of this exact reason. 

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