(Closed) Invitations to people who have already said “no”: To send or not to send?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Should we send invites to people who have already said "no" (after getting the STD)?
    Yes : (56 votes)
    80 %
    No : (13 votes)
    19 %
    Other (see below) : (1 votes)
    1 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    4137 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    you have to send them the invite if you sent them a save the date. i would be pretty peeved as a guest if i told you i couldn’t afford to go to cancun and then you decided you didn’t want to spend a few bucks on an invitation for me.

    Post # 4
    Member
    3709 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    Even though they have already said no, the STD is not the invitation. My advice would be to still send an invite to everyone that you sent an STD to. Things may have changed since then.

    Post # 5
    Member
    171 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    I second what @kitzy said. Even if they have already said you should still send an invitation to them if you sent them a save the date.

    Post # 6
    Member
    3314 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    I 2nd what JamaicaBride says.  Things may have changed, but even if they haven’t you’ll still make them feel a part of things by sending them that invitation.  

    Post # 7
    Member
    489 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2011

    I agree, even if I couldn’t make it to a wedding, I would still appreciate getting the invitation.

    Post # 8
    Member
    7295 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    boy i am glad to hear these responses! this wasn’t my thread, but i was in the exact same position. i sent Save-The-Date Cards for my destination wedding.  i had one girl tell me that she couldn’t come and wanted to know my address etc so she could send me a card and she pretty much told me not to bother sending her an invitation!  

    however, i emailed her back and said i wouldn’t feel right not sending her an invite (my Fiance and I went to her wedding a few years ago) and so i insisted that she “formally RSVP” after i send the invite. i said there would be tons of time and while i understand her situation, i didn’t want to not invite her because you never know if things will change!

    but at the time, i was totally unsure if i was doing the right thing or not, i just went with my instinct. (and was not on weddingbee at the time!)

    Post # 9
    Member
    1986 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I said no, but I’m probably off on this one.

    My train of thought is if someone straight up tells me know before they even have the invitation or any of the travel information, then why should I waste trees and money sending an intive anyway? I’d feel like I was pestering them.

    Post # 10
    Member
    987 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2009

    This one is interesting.. I voted yes because if I was you, I’d probably send the invites.  However being on the receiving end I might find it a little odd.  Perhaps if they already told you no before receiving the invite, they might be the type who would not appreciate the invite. 

    I certainly wouldn’t expect the person to RSVP again. 

    Post # 11
    Member
    1963 posts
    Buzzing bee

    Send an invite w a lil note explaining that you will miss them, but if things have changed you would love to see them.

    Post # 12
    Member
    172 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    I think the answer is yes, because even if the invitee has expressed that he/ she cannot make it, they may still wish to receive your invitation so as to have the details. I know people in my family have said “we can’t come but please still send the invitation.” I think some people just still wanna see the details from the invite, especially website information, which will then lead them to at least see some photos, see what the plans are and also get registry info. I am totally not saying this from a gift grabber perspective (as I am not!) but I do know that I have many family members overseas who cannot make it but have indicated that they really want to send a gift.

    Post # 13
    Member
    504 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    I voted not to send one. I agree with @Belle2Be. I think its a waste if they’ve already told me that they weren’t coming then why bother putting an invitation in their face.

    Post # 14
    Member
    14494 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    I do think you should send them, but you might consider buying some cheaper ones (like at vistaprints) and sending them out then follow them up with the wedding announcements.

    Post # 16
    Member
    7295 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    @Pia2010:  you are probably right about not expecting another RSVP.  i don’t think i will chase down the people who already told me “no”!  

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