(Closed) Invitations to your sibling's wedding

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 48
Member
358 posts
Helper bee

nevermind didn’t see your update, good for you for standing up for yourself and your relationship!

Post # 49
Member
3457 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@LyndaButterfly:  you handled this exactly as I would have. Congratulations on your engagement. Best wishes to you!

Post # 50
Member
170 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I would absolutely NOT go. Who are they to judge your 10 year relationship as “unsatisfactory”??? WTF. no. 

Post # 52
Member
3189 posts
Sugar bee

@LyndaButterfly:  Congrats on your engagemetn and I am sorry about the situation with your brother. I would do the exact same thing though. Best wishes!

Post # 53
Member
3081 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@LyndaButterfly:  I would be hurt too. 

ETA: I just read you update. I can’t believe they did this to you and your family. It seems like your SIL has something against you

Post # 54
Member
777 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

@LyndaButterfly:  This is absolutely ridiculous. I could look past the lack of material invitation, but to not invite your SO of TEN years?! Unacceptable.

Post # 55
Member
777 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

@LyndaButterfly:  Just read your update.. it sounds like your brother’s wife is C.R.A.Z.Y. Hopefully your brother will come to his senses!

Congratulations on the engagement!!!

Post # 56
Member
494 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Am I the only one who kind of thought the OP was overreacting? Her brother said he was only inviting married couples to keep the ceremony short. She was not married, not even engaged. Sure, etiquette probably says her Boyfriend or Best Friend should have been invited, but then they probably felt like they weren’t sticking to the rule they’d set to keep the guest list short. It would be the same thing if her brother said no kids at the wedding, but she wanted to bring her kid.

Anyway, had it been my family, I wouldn’t have made such a big thing out of it. in OP’s original post she said she would not be inviting the SIL to her wedding – I think that’s a lot worse than discluding a boyfriend. And now the family is no longer family… just seems silly to me. And who’s to say this is all the SIL fault? It could very well have been her brother who decided not to include her in the slideshow since she’d basically cut off all ties with him

Just my opinion.

 

Post # 58
Member
3725 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@LyndaButterfly:  Your brother is running high on bullshit. Not to invite you AND your boyfriend is IG-NOR-RANT! What an ass.

Post # 59
Member
1144 posts
Bumble bee

@LyndaButterfly:  Wow, that is really hurful. I gave each of my sisters their own invitations although I don’t need their RSVP. They loved it and will keep them as a keepsake.

I’m sorry to hear that your brother is being really rude. 🙁 I hope he will come to his senses!

Post # 60
Member
617 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@MissKit:  I don’t think she over reacted at all. Not even in her original post. Some people don’t believe in getting married and have been together for 20+ years. Should you always exclude them as a couple because they might never marry? And it wasn’t a small wedding, they had 150 ppl and she invited co-workers of 3 months. My brother has a new gf every year. I was having a 30 ppl wedding and even though his new gf was only a freshly new relationship, I decided to include her in the invite in the end because I can make an expection for my siblings only. I think her brother and SIL were being ridiculous. Rules or not, that’s his sister and shouldn’t have singled her out like that. 

 

 

@LyndaButterfly:  I support you 100% on your decision. I’m kinda bias because I cut my mom and brother out of my life. So I understand the feeling. When I was planning my wedding, I was going to include my brother’s NEW gf. So I think it’s BS that they didn’t invite your now Fiance. (Congrats! :D) And that he didn’t acknowledge you at all before, during and after the wedding.  Because of my falling out with my mom, I canceled my wedding and we are just eloping with absolutely no guest. I blocked my mom and brother from contacting me at all.

 

Hopefully in the future can be resolved aget have a better relationship with our families. But for now, I say live your life and don’t include them. They don’t deserve to be apart of your happy times in life, like your wedding. Let them come to you. You put your differences aside and went to his wedding and he still didnt appreciate that. So F’ them for treating you and your mom like the way they have. 

Post # 61
Member
509 posts
Busy bee

I totally support the OP in her choices, and her feelings should be validated throughout this hurtful situation.

OP – you’re a better person than me! I would have been inclined to send a medical skeleton spine or a framed picture of a set of balls to my brother as a wedding gift, and it would NOT have been anonymous either! I really hope that he realizes that while he might have chosen her as his wife (for however long that marriage might last; sorry, just doesn’t sound healthy IMO), you and his mother are family who generally can always be counted on for support. His loss until he regains his senses (if ever), and he should be praying that he can be forgiven.

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