(Closed) Invitations–who sends them out?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: What is the best way to handle the sending of invitations?
    Give fiance's family as many invitations as they need and have them send it out : (1 votes)
    2 %
    Send out all the invitations yourself : (65 votes)
    98 %
  • Post # 3
    2157 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    This hasn’t really been an issue for us. I gave my Fiance the invites for the people he sees on a regular basis so that we don’t have to rely on the mail for all of them, and then I’m just stamping them and mailing the rest out on my own. I don’t think it’s a big deal to worry about.

    Post # 4
    1561 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I think it’s best to have all of the invites come from one source (you) so there aren’t any errors/confusion.

    Post # 5
    5075 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2012

    you send out the invitations – just have your Fiance collect the addresses from his side.

    I’m not sure why she would send out the invites?  is his family paying for the wedding?

    Post # 8
    1562 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    @violet25:  I would definetly send them all out yourself – that way you can make sure that all the parts are in it, the ribbon is tied how you want it, etc.  I wouldn’t trust my Future Mother-In-Law to put together mine – who knows what would end up in them (registry, invite to other parties, notes saying bring the whole family, etc.)

    Post # 9
    139 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    Do it yourself. That way it gets done how you want and you don’t have to worry about it.

    Post # 10
    1433 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2012 - Historic Lougheed House

    I would get the addresses from him or his mom, and send them all out myself.  That way, you have a master guest list, and you can also have the RSVP tracker. 

    Post # 11
    1747 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    My Future Mother-In-Law did not get a full list of addresses to me but at the same time was rushing me to send out invites. FRUSTRATING. So I did. I sent out all the addresses that I was given, which forced her hand to get other addresses. The next day I sent out the second round. And then I waited for about eight more addresses, but it was no longer my fault.

    I used The Knot Guest Manager for a lot of my process and then copied all the addresses into a master list that I then numbered. I had numbered blanks at the end for any addresses not given to me so that when I got them, there was an assigned number for them ready to go in case they didn’t respond properly.

    My Future Father-In-Law actually handed out about five invitations that are sort of “off the grid” but I tried to at least put names down for the people he was inviting so that I knew who he had to get in touch with if I received no response.

    As you can see, I am so glad i am finally freaking done with invitations.

    If I were you, I would set a deadline for getting all addresses to you and send them out yourself.


    Post # 12
    2849 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I sent out the invitations for everyone. I asked Future Mother-In-Law for a list of addresses and took care of it. I never even thought to ask her if she wanted to send them out, plus it seems like that could get complicated.

    Post # 13
    519 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    It’s typical for you to send them out yourself. His family gets together a list of names and addresses for you, and you send all of the invitations out together. This way you know it is done, and you know exactly who was invited. 

    Post # 14
    5118 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I agree with the PPs. Give him, your parents, and his parents a deadline to give you addresses. Then go through them with Fiance, make sure you’re under #s, and send them out. I gave Future In-Laws a reminder or two, and then moved on without their straggle addresses that they ‘were getting me tomorrow.’ That lit a fire, like @LuckyJuls: said, because they didn’t want those guests to know that their invites were late 🙂 

    Having the master list was SO much easier. It let me keep track easier, know who hadn’t RSVPed yet and who should be calling them (FI, my folks, his, etc), and was SO nice to have when it came time to mail out thank yous. You don’t want to be waiting on ILs for addresses after the wedding, because then you two will look like the discourteous ones. 

    Post # 15
    3978 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    I’d say unless they’re paying for the wedding and 80% of the guest list is theirs that you should get a list from them and send them yourself. Shouldn’t your Fiance know the majority of people anyway? Are you inviting tons of people that your IL’s know and neither you nor your Fiance know? I’ve never heard of this being an issue, except maybe in super rich Southern families who are paying for everything and want the wedding to be more of a ‘social event of the year’ deal rather than a plain wedding.

    Post # 16
    21 posts
    • Wedding: July 2012

    My Fiance and I send them out… but I had my future sister in law helping me with invitations which was a HUGE help for me… lord who knew it would be alot of work doing the invitations by your self…. yikes thankfully it’s only once in my lifetime doing this.

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